Page 7 of Sleeper: The Palisades Edition

And there it is. The unmentioned name that has hovered around the edges of every sentence we’ve spoken ever since I arrived here. Now it fills the loft and steals the oxygen, and I am sucked into the black hole of it. Shane Miller. Do I want to come?

“Who? I mean, where? What are you doing? Going to do? With him? Today, you said?”

Yeah, I played that totally cool—I’m sure he won’t wonder what’s wrong with me.

I concentrate on shoveling scrambled eggs into my mouth and do not meet my brother’s inquisitive gaze.

“What is wrong with you?”

“Nothing. I just haven’t heard you mention him in ages. I wasn’t sure if you were still friends.”

“Course we’re still friends. Why wouldn’t we be?” He sounds defensive. He probably thinks I meant that they wouldn’t be friends anymore because Shane went on to be a much bigger star than him. But I didn’t.

What I meant was—I’ve been dying for you to bring up Shane Miller because I used to be obsessed with him, but I never wanted you to know that, so I’ve never asked you about him. Ever.

Shane Miller.

My brother’s best friend.

My brother’s former costar.

My first non–Disney prince crush.

The only guy I’ve ever tried to forget and the one I couldn’t help but judge every other guy against.

Our first and only encounter may have gone something or exactly like this…

I was a gawky,gangly twelve-year-old girl from a small town in Michigan, and he was the sixteen-year-old star of a new hit Disney Channel comedy about a wizard from a wizarding family who’s just trying to be a normal guy in high school. His character’s name was Greyson Manning, and he was dreamy. My brother played his best friend on the show and quickly become his bestie in real life too. Our grandmother was Nico’s guardian while he was living in Burbank, and I came out to visit them during spring break. We went to Disneyland because my brother had a VIP pass, and that was fun and all, but I was most excited about going to see Nico on set at a studio lot in Hollywood. I wore an all fuchsia-pink outfit, spritzed myself with sweet pea-scented Bath and Bodyworks spray, brought my copy of Tiger Beat magazine that featured an article on the cast for the stars to sign with a silver Sharpie pen, and carried with me an incredible secret: when I did the Tiger Beat quiz “Which Disney Channel character should be your boyfriend?” the answer was Greyson Manning.

Nico made Grammie and me wait in his trailer for an hour while he was in hair and makeup and running lines with the acting coach. Then finally he came back and told me to hurry up and come with him to meet the cast before they all had to do a big scene together. Most of the stars ofThat’s So Wizardwere hanging out around a big snack table, but Shane Miller was nowhere to be found. I got everyone to sign the cover and back of mymagazine, saving the article pages for Shane. I made Nico take a picture of me standing behind the empty director’s chair that had Shane Miller’s name embroidered on the fabric. When I asked him where Shane was, he just shrugged and said he was “probably flirting with some girl somewhere or taking a dump; who knows.” And that was that. I had to go with Grammie to her foot doctor appointment soon, so it didn’t look like I’d even get to meet the boy who Tiger Beat had confirmed should be my boyfriend.

Fighting back tears, I let my jerk of a brother lead me back to his trailer, when I heard someone say, “Hey, is this your sister?”

From the dark recesses of the sound stage, Shane Miller emerged in his character’s trademark blazer, white button-down shirt, loose tie, black jeans, and high tops. He was even cuter in real life than on TV, and he was smiling and walking straight toward me. I could no longer move. My hands began shaking. My right eye started twitching.

“Yeah, this is her,” Nico said. “This is Willa. Willa-Shane. Shane-Willa.” I felt my brother’s hands on my shoulders as he tried to move me forward, but I wouldn’t budge.

Shane slid the script that he was holding under his left arm and held out his right hand for me to shake. “Hey, Willa. It’s good to finally meet you,” he said. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

I didn’t say anything, I just thrust the magazine and pen into his chest.

“What is wrong with you?” Nico muttered.

“Tiger Beat!” Shane exclaimed. “Hey, you got everyone to sign it, That’sso cool.”

I grabbed the magazine back from him and opened it to the page with his picture on it.

“You want me to sign this?” he said, laughing. “They totally misquoted me in this article, by the way. I did not say that blue is my favorite color. I said I like the color of faded blue jeans. Guess they ran out of space.”

I tried to giggle at that, but it got caught in my very dry throat.

“It’s tough being a misunderstood star,” Nico said as he nudged my arm. “You gotta get going, Will.”

That’s when a guy with a headset came over and told my brother that the director needed to talk to him, so he got dragged off and left me alone with the cutest, most famous boy I had ever met.

“When do you need me on set?” Shane called out to the guy.

“Five minutes!” the guy with the headset yelled back.