Page 24 of Sleeper: The Palisades Edition

WILLA: I hope some of me rubs off on you too.

What?

Shit, is that flirting? Is she flirting? Now I can’t stop picturing her rubbing off on me.

Fuck, this is a bad idea.

WILLA: Um. It just occurred to me that you might have read that the wrong way.

WILLA: To be clear, I have no intention of rubbing off on you. Ever.

WILLA: Or on anyone else, for that matter.

WILLA: Do people even call it that here anymore? In France there’s a term for jerking off that literally means ‘to wobble oneself.’ Likeyou’re walking a tightrope and wobbling from side to side? Which always made me wonder if the French are wanking themselves off properly.

WILLA: I’m going to put my phone away now. Thanks for the job opportunity, sir. Byyye!

Fuck.She’s adorable.

This chemistry between us is a living thing that I can’t seem to control or predict. New and energetic and wobbly like a toddler. Or like a single dad who’s walking a tightrope and wobbling from side to side.

Yeah. This is a bad idea.

SHANE MILLER SLEEP DIARY

TUESDAY, 11 AM

Went to bed at:Around nine thirty. No, really.

How long it took you to fall asleep:Not long. Took a shower after putting the kids to bed and…felt some relief.

How many times you woke up in the middle of the night:Once. And I never got back to sleep.

How refreshing your overall sleep was:It wasn’t great. But it wasn’t terrible. I used this lavender essential oil thing. It may have helped at first. But then I think it made things worse, because the smell just reminded me of…something.

Number of caffeinated beverages you consumed throughout the day:Zero.Really don’t see the point of abstaining, Dr. Shaw.

Number of alcoholic beverages you consumed throughout the day:I fucking wish.

How much time you spent exercising:One hour. Trainer just left. Fucking asshole. Sixty straight minutes of upper body work, circuits, and supersets, and I still have mental energy to burn. Physically, I’m tired. But I’ve got something on my mind, and it’s keeping my brain stimulated. Focused on one particular issue. All the time. This isn’t like me. It doesn’t make sense.

Your stress level before bedtime, on a scale from 1 to 5:5-50.

Major cause of stress:Guilt.

Still a little anxiety about not working for a few months, but if I left the kids to work while Margo’s out of town, then I’d have even more guilt. And also, I’d never do that. So fuck my career.

Except no—don’t fuck my career. I need my career.

I should probably go for a run on the beach. Maybe if I run ten miles, I’ll be tired enough to sleep for an hour or so before I have to pick up the kids.

Maybe if I run twenty miles, I’ll be too tired to think about her.

WILLA TODD SCENT DIARY

TUESDAY AFTERNOON

I don’t need to burn any essential oils today because the yellow freesias are so powerfully fragrant. Sweet and spicy. It’s strange to me that this flower is supposed to symbolize innocence, because when I smell it now, all I can think about is how pretty someone’s penis probably is and how I really shouldn’t be thinking about how pretty it probably is, because as of tomorrow he will be my employer. And I can’t think about my employer’s penis. Especially while I’m responsible for the well-being of his five-year-old children.