Page 16 of Sleeper: The Palisades Edition

This girl is giving me whiplash.

I never know what she’s going to say next, and I love it.

She needs to stop staring at my mouth or I’m going to lean across the table and kiss her.

But also, why is it so adorable that she’s being such a little turd to me?

“First of all, yes I do read every script that my agents read first and then pass along to me. Secondly, John Cena is a hilarious and talented actor who was a costar—not the star—of that movie. And third, it just so happens I recently wrapped a fantastic little independent film that I was only paid scale plus ten for.”

“I don’t know what that means.”

“It means I didn’t do it for the money and if it doesn’t get into Sundance I’m screwed.”

“Uh-huh. So you also didn’t do it because you loved the script.”

“I did love the script. It’s a great script… You know, it’s funny—I’m remembering now that Nico once mentioned that you’ve been sort of a dick ever since you moved to Europe, but I didn’t believe him.”

“And now?”

“And now I think that was an understatement.”

She blinks once and then looks down at her coffee cup. “Yeah. Sorry. It seems the only way my super impressive science degrees actually benefit me in Los Angeles is that they make me feel superior enough to ridicule attractive, successful actors who make more money in one month than I’ll probably make in five years. If I’m lucky.”

“Wow, there is a lot to unpack in that sentence, but all I really heard is that you find me attractive, so I’m gonna let you continue to make fun of me.”

“Thanks. I would have continued even without your permission, but your mild narcissism makes it even more rewarding.”

“You aren’t a dick to the kids you look after, are you?”

“Not really.”

“That’s comforting.”

“I generally prefer kids to adults, so…”

“Yeah? Hang on—my brain’s a little slow today, but I just realized something. It sounds to me like you’re very familiar with my entire body of work.”

She scoffs and looks away. “No.”

“And yet, you speak as though you are familiar with the scripts of the films I’ve starred in.”

“Movies. You’ve starred in movies. And I did not watch them willingly.”

“Go on.”

“No. Are we just going to sit here and talk about youand your hair for half an hour, or would you like to tell me about your children?”

“You’re the one who started talking about my hair.”

“I don’t think so… Okay you know what—this is weird, so I’m just gonna tell you something and get it out of the way so things don’t get weirder, and then you can decide if you want to hire me as a nanny or not.”

“Okay…” This should be interesting. If she tells me that she’s been arrested, I think I can still make this work, as long as it was for a nonviolent crime.

She takes in a huge breath, grabs on to the pendant of her necklace, and tilts her head up, squeezing her eyes shut. I take this opportunity to briefly admire her slender neck and elegant collarbones, the impossibly smooth skin of her chest, and the strap of that pale-pink bra that’s peeking out from under her blouse and tank top, andfuck me she’s pretty. Not just pretty—she’s lovely and odd and sexy in a way that I’ve never encountered before. I want to take her to dinner and go for a walk on the beach and talk to her for hours and hours while Netflix and chillin’, and I want that gentle, knowing hand and that pouty sassy mouth on my cock.Oh fucking hell, I want to suck on those beautiful tits until she comes, and I want to spank that round ass and fuck her with my tongue and make her scream my name, and then I will bend her over and give it to her until she—whoa.

She takes another deep breath, and I look around for Nico. He could take one look at me from inside the store and know that I’ve been thinking about coming all over his little sister’s tits, and there would be one hell of a cleanup needed in Aisle Me. He is nowhere to be found, but I need to clamp down on this train of thought regardless.

“I used to have a crush on you.”