Page 72 of Troublemaker: The Big Picture Edition

6. A million kisses. If only he were here. Fuck, I wish he were here.

7. I should be giving him my heart. My whole heart, without reservation. But I can’t get over the feeling that it’s wrong to be with him like this now. Unless it’s in secret. I trust himcompletely. I just can’t give anything up for a man again. No matter how I feel about him. I won’t give up my self-respect as a teacher or the respect of my peers or my principal or the other students’ parents.

-- What I’m actually going to give him…is something I have never wanted to give anyone else. And I’m slightly terrified.

CHAPTER 27

EMILIA

“What are you wearing, and why are you making me look at it?”

“My mom made it for me.” I stand up and back away from my laptop camera so Franklin can get a better look at me posing in my red knit sweater with a snowman on the front. “I match my parents. We just took family pictures.”

“Take it off. I’m begging you.”

“Funny you should say that,” I say, climbing back onto the guest bed and not removing my sweater. “I need some advice.”

“And I’m giving it to you. You should take off that sweater. Or I’m ending this call.”

“Hang on.” I check to make sure the door to my parents’ guest room is locked and listen at the door to make sure no one’s in the hallway outside of it. And then I get back on the bed in front of my laptop. “Okay, so there’s something I want to give Alex as a surprise Christmas present.”

“I thought you told him you aren’t exchanging presents.”

“Exactly—that’s why it’s a surprise.”

Franklin covers his eyes. “Okay, you have exactly ten minutes, and then I have to go back downstairs and help my mom with something.”

I lower my voice and lean in toward the camera. “So, I want to do a little Christmas sexting.”

“Uh-huh.”

“How do I do that?”

He laughs and removes his hands from his eyes. “You’ve never sexted with a guy before?”

“Not really. How do I initiate it?”

“Well, he’s a guy. You could literally just start with a boob pic, or request a dick pic, and I promise you he’ll take it from there.”

“I don’t want to exchange pictures. Just words. Dirty words.” I hold up my notepad and pen. “So what should I write?”

“You want me to ghost write your sexts with the Sexy Daddy? How many cups of your mom’s mulled wine have you had?”

“Exactly the right amount to sext with the Sexy Daddy. I just need a few suggestions. To get me going. Like, should I tell him I’m naked?”

“Amateur! Do you need me to explain to you what goes in what hole too?

I ignore that because I’m writingHi. I’m naked.on my notepad.

“I guess I just need you to tell me how it usually works. Do I tell him what I want him to do? Do I tell him what I think about when I’m touching myself? Do I describe what I’m doing to myself while I’m thinking about him?”

“All of the above. You don’t need my help for this, little dirty bird. You can fly on your own.”

“You don’t think he’ll think it’s creepy?”

“Do I think that a single man whom you’ve had sex with will think it’s creepy that you’re sending him dirty text messages? Hmmm…”

“Just give me some suggestions to get me going. Come on!”