Page 55 of Troublemaker: The Big Picture Edition
All monkeys are cool and fun at parties and so is my son. If my son likes your monkey, then you can keep it. He likes almost all the monkeys.
I scrub my face with the palms of my hands. “Are you sure this is meant to be a dating profile for me and not for you to meet some cool monkeys?”
He blinks at me. “Can I have a monkey?”
“No.”
He crosses his arms in front of his chest. “Fine.”
“You’re telling me that Miss Stiles helped you with these answers? At lunch? Why would she do that?”
He shrugs. “Because I asked her to. Is dinner ready soon? I’m hungry.”
“Why did you ask your teacher to do this?”
Ryder’s face scrunches up beyond recognition.
“You aren’t in trouble, buddy. Yet. Just tell me.”
“Cheyenne said to make Miss Stiles jealous.”
“Cheyenne said? So you’re getting dating advice from your seven-year-old girlfriend, about your dad and your teacher?”
“She’s not my girlfriend! But she’s a girl. And she knows a lot about girls and ladies and stuff.”
“I don’t happen to agree with you there. Listen… I appreciate that you’re trying to help me. I do. But I told you—Miss Stiles doesn’t think it’s appropriate for us to date while you’re in her class.”
But hang on…
I get an email notification on my phone.
FROM: [email protected]
Dear Mr. Vega,
I hope this email finds you well. The holiday season is fast approaching, and so is the Silver Lake Elementary School’s Winter Festival! As you may know, each year one class is chosen to perform the holiday show. This year my class has the honor.
It has come to my attention that you are a professional director with a theatre background. As such, it seems appropriate for me to request your assistance in choosing and directing the play. It is very important to me to make this the best show possible. If you can find the time, my second-grade class and I would be truly grateful if you would volunteer to participate in this exciting after school activity.
Let me know what you think!
Sincerely,
Miss Stiles
Well, well, Miss Stiles. I’m glad to hear it seems appropriate to you. Iwilllet you know what I think.
And then I get a text from her.
EMILIA: Hi. Sent you an email from the school email account, so please respond accordingly.
EMILIA: That is, if you aren’t too busy making out with the amazing new fiancée your son and I helped you snag.
EMILIA: Seriously though, I really need your put it in me on this play. Please input me.
EMILIA: Um. I meant that I need your input on this play. Please help me. I was changing the words and then my phone decided to be an asshole. Feel free to put it in my phone because it’s an asshole.
