Page 54 of Troublemaker: The Big Picture Edition

“Yes.” He nods vehemently. “I’m pretty sure.”

“Did you use a credit card?”

He shakes his head. “It’s free. Can I have a credit card?”

“No.”

I scroll through the questions that have answers.

What I’m all about:

I have nice hair and a really cool son who is the best kid on this planet. Also, I like gelato but not the good flavors.

What I’m doing with my life:

I make movies on movie sets and I drive my son around and make him lunch and stuff. I like to fold laundry, which is weird. I’m nice most of the time and other people seem to think I’m pretty funny, I guess.

Current life goal:

Let my son stay up later. Be happy and have a new wife that my son likes. She can live with us too if she is cool.

I spend a lot of time thinking about:

Weird grown-up things that are mostly boring except when I decide what to make for dinner.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music and food:

The first Harry Potter but I’m not allowed to read the next one yet. Kung Fu Panda and Shrek. Pokémon and the one with the skinny guy with the big teeth and the bald friend and the tall guy with funny hair and the lady who yells a lot. I like Katy Perry but don’t tell anyone. I like all the foods usually but sometimes I forget to eat and I am Mr. Grumpy Dumpy Face.

Do you enjoy discussing politics?

Yes.

Explain your answer.

The word discussing has “cussing” in it and I’m not supposed to do that, but I always do anyway so it must be important.

Is a person’s astrological sign important when it comes to dating?

Yes.

Explain your answer.

The word astrological is funny because it has “ass” in it. So that’s important.

Your partner wants to keep an exotic monkey as a pet because it would be fun at parties…

Cool.

Answers I’ll accept…

Cool.

This question is…

Mandatory.

Explain your answer.