Page 10 of Common People

‘Wow!’ said Max. ‘Best sandwich ever.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Yes, mate. It’s rich, complex and it all marries together so well. I really think you need to open your own sandwich shop.’

‘Och, I cannae do that, pal. It’s just a wee hobby.’

‘Why? You make incredible sandwiches, you’re always complaining about working at the pub, and clearly sandwiches are your passion.’

‘Aye, but I couldnae afford to start my own business. I’d need a bank loan just to open, and then what if it failed, huh? What then?’

‘But what if it didn’t? What if you became one of the people you spend hours watching on YouTube, who become viral sensations, have queues of people lined up down the road day after day, coming from all over the world, desperate to try your sandwiches?’

‘I think youse getting a bit ahead of yourself there, pal,’ said Robbie, and then Max took another bite of his sandwich.

‘This is one of the best things I’ve ever eaten, Robbie, and you need to share this with the world. Trust me, if you made it, people would come.’

‘Don’tField of Dreamsme!’ said Robbie, before taking a sip of his Irn-Bru.

‘I’m just saying, mate. You have a gift.’

‘Aye, well, just because I make a decent sandwich, doesnae mean I cannae run a business.’

Ever since Max had met Robbie, and they had moved in together, there had been something about Robbie that Max didn’t quite understand. It was clear from all the hours that Robbie spent in the kitchen, adjusting his sourdough recipe and testing out sandwich fillings like a mad scientist, that it was something he was deeply passionate about. He also spent hours and hours watching food content on YouTube, and talking with such enthusiasm about it, that it seemed logical he should do something with it. Plus, he hated his job at the pub, and never seemed happy when he was trudging off to work for another eight-hour shift. Yet, despite the overwhelming evidence to support Max’s theory that he should definitely open a sandwich shop, Robbie didn’t think he could do it. The man who threw himself into everything in life with such passion and vigour, seemed reluctant and afraid to take the step to make himself happier. Perhaps his fear of failure was greater than his desire to follow his dreams.

‘You know, the cold plunge and sauna were so good today,’ said Max, changing subjects.

‘Oh aye.’

‘It was life changing, and I had a good chat with Joe. He’s a cab driver from Barking, and his dad died of a heart attack in his fifties. Joe just turned fifty himself, and he’s dedicated to turning his health around.’

‘Good for him,’ replied Robbie, before he took another bite of his sandwich.

‘Yeah, and it inspired me to have a look at my own life,’ said Max looking across at Robbie. ‘It’s been eighteen months, mate. I think I need to sell the house.’

Robbie stopped chewing, and put his sandwich down. He looked across at Max with a warm smile because he knew what that meant.

‘You think youse ready?’

‘I don’t know, but it’s something I’ve been putting off and putting off, and talking with Joe today, I felt like, what am I waiting for? When will it ever feel right, you know?’

‘I dinnae think you’ll know ‘til youse try.’

‘Exactly,’ said Max, before he had another sip of his beer, and a bite of the sandwich.

His parents’ house had been a continual source of thought and conversation since the accident. Their house in St Albans was all his, it was mortgage free, and it was just sitting there. He went back every now and then, and he would clean, mow the lawn, and keep it together, but whenever he thought about selling it, he would get a panic attack. His chest would tighten, his heart raced, and he would need to sit down and take a moment. It was the house he had grown up in that was so full of memories, ties to his parents, and it was still full of all their things. He had gone back so many times with the intention of going through their clothes, putting them in bin bags, and giving them to charity, but when it actually came to doing it, he couldn’t go through with it. The same with all the things in the house. The knick-knacks, the holiday souvenirs, the furniture, all of it needed to go. It was the final thing that had to be done. It was the last goodbye.

The thing was, he didn’t really need the money from the house yet. His parents, always so diligent, both had good life insurance policies, and Max was the sole benefactor on both. So, after his parents had died, he had been forced to sit downwith his parents’ solicitor, and go through everything in the will, including the life insurance and the house. Between everything, Max was set-up for life, he was financially secure, but he didn’t care because he would swap it all for having his parents back. The money felt like a strange payment for their deaths, so it all just sat in his bank account, the house in St Albans sat empty, and Max did nothing with any of it. He felt this overwhelming responsibility to use the money that they had saved for him for something meaningful, and because he didn’t know what that was, he did nothing with it. He kept the house because he couldn't bear the thought of saying goodbye to it forever, and he had hardly touched any of the insurance money because the weight of it was too much. In a way, he felt trapped by it all, while also realising at the same time, just how privileged he was not to have to worry about money. It was a horrible catch-22.

‘There’s also a girl,’ said Max, completely out of the blue, even taking himself by surprise. He hadn’t meant to discuss Bethan with Robbie, and maybe it was the sandwich or the small amount of alcohol in the beer, but he felt the need to talk. ‘At run club.’

‘The plot thickens,’ replied Robbie, deliciously raising one eyebrow. ‘Tell all, sir. Who is the wee lassie in question, and what dastardly plans do youse have for her?’

Max laughed. ‘Her name’s Bethan, and definitely no plans. Dastardly or otherwise.’

‘Why no plans?’

‘Because I’m not ready, mate. I’m literally just trying to keep myself together at the moment, get and stay healthy. I’m definitely not ready for the complex emotional needs of a proper relationship.’