Page 88 of This Shattered Star

“That is what you do to me. I should hate it. Rage against it. But I find myself craving it instead. Cravingyou.”

I couldn’t see straight anymore. The heat, his pulsing fingers, the threat of his fire burning me with no more than a single thought from him—I was already going to fall over the edge.

Letting go of my throat, he reached down to grab my wrist before I could slide my hand down his stomach, underneath the line of his pants. “This is my atonement,” he chastised before I could protest. “Do you understand what that means?”

His fingers started to retract when I failed to answer.

“T-tell me,” I stuttered, basking in the wave of pleasure rolling through my core as he sank them back in completely, curling them just so.

“It means that the work to be done here is mine alone.” He guided my hand back up until I cupped his cheek. He leaned into it, letting my wrist go.

“What if I want all of you?” I asked shakily.

A sinister smirk twisted his lips. “Then maybe I could give myself to you, if that is what you truly want.” The fire around me burned brighter. “Or maybe I could make you beg for it.” He laughed softly at my narrowed brows. “Don’t worry, I won’t. Not this time.”

Not this time.

Shifting the angle of his hand, he wound an arm around my waist to keep me upright. His eyes greedily drank in my parted lips, the crimson staining my cheeks. “But I am a selfish man, Eloise. Nothing will ever change that.” He worked me faster, his chest heaving in tandem with mine. “When I take you fully,”when, not if,“I will not hold back. I’ll give youeverythingyou ask for. And I will be theonlyone to hear you scream.”

“Is that a promise?” I asked around a breathless sigh.

“It is an oath.”

By the stars above.

Tiny pinpricks of heat—not from his magic, mine alone—blasted from my core, shooting sparks of pleasure through my legs, up my spine. Flashes of color dotted my vision, pierced only by the jade of his eyes until they disappeared, too.

He groaned as I trembled against him. “That’s it.” Pressing his lips against mine to stifle my cries, he muttered, “Keep coming for me.”

I thought I would never stop, wave after wave of soul-consuming, mind-numbing pleasure washing over every inch of my limbs until finally,finally,those waves receded, giving me the chance to breathe, for my feet to settle back onto the ground. The fire around me flickered one final time before guttering out.

Kodhan peppered small, featherlight kisses across both of my cheeks. Pressed a third one to my forehead. “So beautiful.” Another one, to the tip of my nose. “You could bring me to my knees with one look alone.”

If my heart hadn’t burst moments ago, it cracked open now, splitting right down the middle.

This wouldn’t last, that I knew. I’d told him myself,this would change nothing.But there wasn’t anything in this moment stopping me from pretending otherwise. Even if it would shatter my already bleeding heart.

“If Wit had started already, we would know. Let’s rest.” With a tug around my waist, he took a step towards his bed.

My knees were still weak. I wasn’t certain I could walk properly yet. Still, I said, “I should go.”

“No. Stay.” His hold tightened. “Please.”

This changes nothing.

His gaze was pleading.

“Fine. I’ll stay.”

Relief washed over his features, like he’d expected a different answer.

It was a good thing he didn’t have access to my thoughts. If he did, he would have found that another answer never existed.

Selfishness followed me like a shadow as I took up the space beside him on the bed. Cawed a satisfied cackle as I rested my head on the space between his shoulder and his arm.Just for now,I told myself.Just this once.

Liar,that selfishness hissed.

“I’m not going to sleep,” I told him without looking up.