Page 11 of Unleashed

There’s a sense of relief that washes over me. I didn’t know how to tell her. Now… I don’t have to.

“But I don’t think anyone else at my school is like me, Mom.”

She laughs. “That’s just because they’re too afraid to be open about it, kiddo. They’re afraid of the rejection. Just like you are. But you should feel free to be yourself. You shouldn’t feel like you need to hide your feelings.”

My mind is reeling. I wonder if there are really others like me. I wonder if any of my friends are gay.

“You know, Spence, you should own it. You can pave the way for everyone else. Be proud of who you are, and show them it’s okay to be honest about your feelings. You shouldn’t have to hide, and no one else should have to either.”

“But kids are mean, Mom. They make fun of people just because they don’t wear a certain brand of clothes or if they have a lisp. I think they’ll make fun of me if I say I like boys.”

She shakes her head. “Middle school is rough. But don’t get discouraged. High school will be different. You’ll see. People are going to admire your bravery. All the girls will want to be your best friend, because gay guys make the ultimate friends. And I bet you’ll find your first love.”

It’s a nice thought, but I’ve never been attracted to anyone. I don’t even know what that says about me. Maybe I’m asexual. I don’t even know if I have a type. I just know that it’s not girls.

“All right, kiddo. Well, I’ll let you get back to your video game.” She stands from the bed and turns to leave, but before she makes it out the door, I jump from my chair and rush to her.Wrapping my arms around her waist and hugging her tight. She has no idea what she just did for me. She erased all my fears. The worry, the dread, all of it feels lighter now. Like it’s floating away. Having her support makes me feel confident.

“Thanks, Mom.” I squeeze her tighter.

“Thank you for being such an incredible son.” She holds me tighter.

I didn’t know how badly I needed that. But she’s right. It’s time to stop hiding who I am. I’m never going to meet anyone if I don’t put myself out there. But the thought is still terrifying. But like my mom has always said, “You conquer your fears, you conquer the world.”

This year, I’ll be the one in the driver’s seat, not my nerves. And when I walk into school, I’m going to own who I am.

* * *

I walkinto the locker room, my bag in hand to change out for gym. This is the one class I despise. I’m not strong like a lot of the other kids. I’m a computer geek, not a jock. I’d rather be coding in Minecraft than getting tackled on the football field.

“Yo, did you see that? I think that girl was a junior and she was totally checking you out,” a kid says, as he stops at a locker near mine.

“I saw. I may have to get her number.”

The deep voice has me looking up. The kid sounds old for a freshman, but this is a freshmen-only class. My knees waver. God, he’s huge for a nineth grader. Tall and built. He must’ve played football his entire life because he’s ripped. My palms start to sweat as he pulls off his shirt, his rippled chest coming into view. I’ve never seen anyone like him. Blond shaggy hair, blue eyes. He’s gorgeous.

A feeling rushes in. Foreign, yet exciting. It’s making my stomach feel like little butterflies are flying around. He pulls down his jeans and my eyes drop to his legs. I swallow the drool pooling in my mouth. I think I have my first crush. I think I…

His head turns as if he sensed my staring. When our eyes connect, I swear it’s like a spark of electricity runs through my body. But as his eyes narrow in, looking pissed, the butterflies turn into nerves. I don’t think he liked me checking him out.

I quickly turn around, shoving my clothes into my locker, embarrassment burning over me.

“What the fuck are you looking at, loser?”

I look over my shoulder and he’s standing behind my back. The hottest guy I’ve ever seen is looking at me like he wants to kick my ass.

“I asked you a question, loser.” He moves in closer. “Why the hell are you watching me change-out?”

“I’m sorry.” I shake my head. “Didn’t mean to. I just…um…” There isn’t a single lie that comes to mind, and I’m definitely not telling him I was checking him out.

“He thinks you’re hot, Hunter,” his friend teases, stepping up to his side.

“He’s trying to check out your package,” another one joins in, and now there are three of them glaring at me, closing in slowly. My palms are starting to sweat, and I feel like I’m going to piss myself.

“Listen, you little faggot.” His hands come out, slamming me up against my gym locker, two blue eyes glaring straight into mine. “I don’t like you looking at me, and if I ever see you do it again, I’ll kick your ass.”

I shake my head. “I’m sorry. I was just looking because you’re so strong. I’ve never seen someone our age so huge. It’s incredible.” When his nostrils flare, I wish the blubbering apology had stayed locked behind my lips.

“I am strong, and you’re a weak little pathetic faggot.” His hold on me tightens. “This locker room isn’t for queers, so you better scurry to the girls’ room to change. Now scram, loser.”