Page 9 of Unbroken

Great, and now I’m even more of an emotional mess. Awesome. I think it’s time to take some sleeping pills and put an end to the day. I didn’t want to take them again tonight, but there’s no point in denying the inevitable. It’s either that orcleaning while listening to some stand-up comedy podcast, and right now, I don’t want to be reminded of the fact that I’ve lost my laugh, too. I listen in hopes that something will spark even a smile, but mainly, it just ends up being a good distraction to my thoughts and that’s about it.

I swallow the pills back and turn off the lights, going back to my room. I slide the window open to let some cool air in, in hopes it will ease the tightness in my lungs. A twig snaps not too far off in the distance but I can’t find the culprit in the woods. It’s too dark. We get all kinds of animals out here, so it could be anything. My guess is it’s a racoon because those buggers love snooping around my trailer at night for trash.

I take a deep breath, looking up at the moon. And like I do every night, I stab the knife into my chest. Call it habit or self-inflicted torture, but I can’t stop myself.

“I love you, Kayden. God, why can’t I stop loving you?” Life would be so much better if I could just turn off the feelings. But no matter what I do, they don’t fade. They don’t ease up their grip on my heart. Nothing…nothing stops the thoughts of him that constantly churn inside my head. His smile. The way he looked at me when I spoke. The way he made love to me.

But it’s as if I imagined it all. Every moment, every word, every feeling was all a lie. To him, I was just some conquest. A challenge. A rich little virgin he got to dirty up. He didn’t love me. Not the way I loved him. And God, does that truth crush me. Reading his letter broke me. What I felt was worse than the grief I felt after losing my grandmother, and I loved her so dearly. After five years, you’d think it’d fade. Nearly two thousand days have past, yet it feels like it was yesterday.

I still can’t get over him. I still can’t reconcile the truth with my memories. I still can’t forget.

Another bristling in the trees pulls me through the never-ending cycle of thoughts that spins through my mind, wonderinghow I could’ve been so wrong about him. Wondering how I’m supposed to go through life like this. Barely functioning. Barely breathing. They say time will heal, but as with everything in life, there’s an exception to the rule. And I’m the exception.

I lay down on my bed and close my eyes, feeling the tears slip out the corners and run down the side of my face. Like sheep, I start counting them until the sleeping pills kick in and the darkness finally makes the painful day come to an end.

CHAPTER 6

Kayden

Day 2,251

I can’t walk away.

At first, I thought the address Monk gave me was wrong, but then I recalled Wren’s grandmother living in Alabama, and so I drove through the night, burning the midnight oil to get here as fast as I could. Damn, the place is practically like a ghost town. There’s not much here: a gas station, a small market, a post office that could pass as a shed, and an old dive bar, which looks like it’s probably the only restaurant in town. And the only thing open at this wee hour is the gas station. But just as I’m about to pull in, I see some lights up ahead, so I keep on driving down the main drag, curious as to what else this place has to offer. My stomach gives me a loud rumble, reminding me I haven’t eaten in over twenty-four hours so I’m hoping it’s a food place. As soon as I got word from Monkon Wren’s whereabouts, I got on the road, only stopping to piss and fill up.

Looks to be a diner called “The Bird’s Nest.” Sign says closed but there are some lights on inside like it might be opening soon so I pull into a parking space. As I look at the glass door for the hours, movement inside catches my attention.

I must be hallucinating.

There’s no fucking way.

It’s her.

My baby’s inside, filling the glass case with baked goods. Her hair is up in a messy bun, the apron she’s got on in is covered in flour, and she looks fucking incredible.

My heart revs inside my chest. God, I can’t believe it’s her. She’s even more beautiful than I remember. It’s like she hasn’t aged a day. Stunning blue eyes. Perfect face with her cute little dimples impressed in her cheeks. And those sexy-as-hell lips. Fuck, I shouldn’t be here. This is pure torture. But like hell am I driving away. I came here to make sure she’s okay, but now I need to find out the reason she’s here.

She’s supposed to be working in the big city or traveling the world, cooking with renowned chefs. What the fuck happened to her working with Chef Zen? Why is she here slaving away before daybreak, filling cases with pastries and wiping down countertops? Why the fuck is Wren working in a diner? But maybe it’s owned by her granny and she’s just here helping her out.

She disappears back into the kitchen, and I pull out my phone shooting off a text.

Me:Hey, man! Hittin’ you up one last time. Are you able to tell me who owns the diner in this town? It’s called The Bird’s Nest.

I stare at my screen, realizing it’s a long shot for Monk to respond this early in the morning. But when a text buzzes in, I breathe a sigh of relief.

Monk:Any friend of Red is a friend of mine. Whatever you need, let me know. Give me a sec and I’ll get back to you.

Me:Thanks, man. Sorry for disturbing you so early.

Monk: Don’t sleep much. Not a problem.

Yeah, neither do I. Years of being trained to listen for the threats in your sleep will condition a man. Now, I don’t think I’ll get a lick of sleep until I know what the hell is going on with my girl. She grew up with more money than people know what to do with in their lifetime. Not to mention the opportunities that were laid out in front of her. For her to end up here makes no sense. But like I said, maybe she’s just here helping out her grandmother for a bit.

I look up, wishing my girl would show herself again. God, she’s so damn pretty. Not sure how I’m supposed to drive away from her again. I don’t think I can breathe without her.

Finally, Wren comes walking out of the kitchen, this time carrying a mop and a bucket. Tension rolls down my shoulders as I watch her scrub the floors. My girl isn’t supposed to be cleaning; she’s supposed to be cooking in the finest restaurant. She’s supposed to be traveling the world and dining in the most exquisite places. She’s supposed to be chasing her damn dreams. I’m about to climb out of my truck and go bang on the glass door, needing answers, but a sparkle catches my eye and has my hand freezing on the handle. I look down to her left hand and see a diamond sitting on her ring finger. A big fucking diamond that can’t be missed.

Fuck! My girl’s engaged. A fact that should bring me joy. It’s what I wanted, after all. What I’d hoped for when I wrote her that shitty letter. I wanted her to move on with her life, to find someone and be happy. I wanted her to have the family shealways wanted. But the roaring pain ripping through me hates the fact.