Page 3 of Louder Than Words

“I’ll think about what’s safest,” Trevor says, his eyes locked on me like I’m a bug he wants to squish beneath his loafers.

“Maybe think about what’s fair, too,” I mutter under my breath.

Suddenly, Trevor slams his hands on the table, hard enough to rattle the mediator’s coffee mug. I flinch, my heart hammering against my chest.

“You want to talk about what’sfair?” he snaps, spit hitting my cheek. “How about the fact you’re trying to steal my daughters to play house with your new boyfriend since you can’t give him a baby? How’s that for fucking fair?”

I stare, wide-eyed, as he storms out, slamming the door so hard it rattles the paintings scattered along the wall. My body is frozen in my seat, trembling while I silently kick myself forsharing something so personal with him. Deep down, I knew it would be foolish, but a small part of me had hoped that if he knew, then maybe he would back off, even just a little.

To think he was once the reason I laughed until my sides ached. And now? Now I can’t remember why I ever fell in love with him in the first place. How could he be so cruel? Or even think so lowly of me, believing I would actually do something like that?

The sound of a pen scratching across paper cuts through the air. My hands shake as I reach for my purse, fumbling with the strap. I quickly gather it, hugging it tightly to my chest like it’ll somehow protect me.

Without a word, or a second glance at the mediator, I pack up and hurry to my car, shutting the door with a firm click. I don’t even get the key in the ignition before the tears start falling. My throat is so tight, I can’t swallow past the lump sitting there.

Turns out, whenever I choose my own happiness, it only causes problems for everyone around me, and I get branded as selfish for it. I’m not trying to replace Trevor with Jax. I would never do something like that. But what’s so wrong with giving my girls more love?

I blow out a shaky breath, trying my hardest to calm myself. But why? This is something I need to feel. This isn’t fair.

So, I give myself ten minutes.

Ten minutes to wallow. To feel my world crumbling around me and hate everything going on. But after that, I have two daughters, and an amazing man, waiting at home for me. A man who knew I needed him more than ever, dropped everything, and raced here without me even asking. Because he wants to be here. He wants allthreeof us. He doesn’t shame me for not being able to give him a baby the way I desperately want to. Because he’s perfectly happy with the life we have now. Something Trevor never was, and never will be with anyone.

Wow. It must be miserable, living a life where you can’t see a good thing when you have it.

2

Jax

I am so fucking glad the guys aren’t here right now.

A six-foot-tall man has zero business squeezing himself into a kiddie table built for three-foot-tall children. My knees are proof of that since they’re already screaming at the weird angle I’ve got them bent just to fit. Every little shift makes the wood creak like it’s seconds away from giving out and dumping me flat on my arse. I’m sure the girls would find that hilarious, but am I ready to test that theory? Absolutely not.

I shift awkwardly, trying to get comfortable, when Charlotte lifts a tiny plastic teapot with a grin. “Some more tea, sir?” she asks, trying her best to copy my accent.

I can’t help the smirk tugging at my mouth as I raise my little cup and nod. “Why thank you, ma’am.”

“More juice!” Lydia screeches, clapping her small hands together.

I gesture toward her. “I believe Miss Lydia would love some more tea.”

Charlotte gives her sister a nod and carefully pretends to refill her cup, then slumps onto the stool beside me like she’s just finished a twelve-hour shift. She wipes imaginary sweat from her brow and lets out a dramatic sigh. “Man, these customers,” she mutters, shaking her head.

A chuckle bubbles in my throat, coming out as more of a snort. I gently place my cup down and bow my head. “You did a swell job, Miss Charlotte.”

After a few more rounds of plastic pie and cardboard napkins, the girls move on to feed their stuffed animals. Just watching them together, barely even arguing at their age, says everything about how happy they really are. Which makes what Trevor’s trying to do all the more fucked up. Trying to rip them away from a loving mother? Does he even realize the damage that could do to his daughters? They’d be completely lost without their mum.

Charlotte spins slowly in her chair until she’s facing me, though her gaze stays fixed on her lap. “Jax?” she says softly.

She toys with the hem of her top—a habit I know too well from Allie, who does it whenever she’s trying to work up the nerve to say something she doesn’t want to.

I lean forward, resting my arms on my knees. “Yeah, Lot?”

“Are you gonna be here for my birthday?” she asks, eyes still unmoving.

I chuckle and ruffle her long, auburn hair. “Of course I will, love. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

The smile she’d been trying to hide finally slips free. She leaps out of her chair so fast it nearly topples over, and she throws her small arms around my neck, squeezing as hard as she can.