Page 16 of Louder Than Words

She holds up a hand. “Allison Lorraine Windsor, I cannot believe I’m about to say this, but would you please go party with your boyfriend for a weekend in the city?” She grins. “You two need it after everything.”

The biggest part of me is screamingno. Not just because of the girls, or what Trevor might think if, God forbid, he found out. But that’s four hours trapped in a car. I can barely make it out of town—do we really think I can survive the whole trip?

Although, this is really important to Jax. It’s not just any weekend—it’s hisreleaseparty, the first one since the band got signed. A celebration of everything he’s worked so hard for, everything he’s dreamed about. How could I say no to that?

After a few minutes, I pull my bottom lip between my teeth and exhale. “Okay, fine. I’ll go.”

Mom claps her hands together, a grin spreading across her face just as Lydia lets out a squawk through the baby monitor.

“It’s okay, Al. Let me get her,” she says, already practically skipping down the hallway.

Once she’s gone, I glance at my phone again.

A weekend away. Just the two of us. In the city where we fell in love. It sounds perfect. Every part of it.

But also completely terrifying.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

This isn’t about you right now, Allie. It’s about Jax.

The second I open my eyes, my fingers fly over the keys before my brain can catch up and make me second-guess myself.

Can’t wait, xoxo

8

Jax

“No.” I walk past James, not giving a second thought to how much his face falls.

I am not going out tonight whether they like it or not. I’m too bloody tired, and honestly, I have zero interest in being surrounded by sweaty drunks who’ll only make me more nauseated than I already am.

“Come on, Jax,” Desmond groans from the island.

“What else are you gonna do, mate?” James calls from behind me. “Watch paint dry?”

I stifle a laugh at how dramatic he’s being and nod. “Yep,” I say, maybe a little too proudly, then drop onto the sofa with a low grunt.

They can try to convince me all they want, but I’m not going. Especially not downstairs. The last thing I need is to sit there staring at the barstools where Allie and I used to meet, andhave James and Desmond take turns giving me shit for beingwhipped.

Yeah, I’ll pass on that one.

James leans in, his eyes flicking from me to Gareth, then back again. “You sure you want to hang out with Grumpy over there?”

I tilt my head back and fix my eyes on the ceiling fan. “Once again… yep.”

Do I feel bad for not going? Or at least for being short with him? I mean, yeah, who wouldn’t? Saying no to James is like kicking a puppy. But I wasn’t joking when I said I’m worn out. And James doesn’t take no for an answer unless you say it about forty-two times.

They head for the door, James throwing me one last look over his shoulder.

“Suit yourself,” he mutters. “You know where to find us when you decide you want to have fun again.”

The second the door clicks shut, I lean forward, grab my beer off the table, and take a long pull. Then I spot Gareth out of the corner of my eye—in the exact same spot as the other night. Alone in the lounge. Staring out at the city lights.

Normally, it wouldn’t take me more than a second to go over and fuck with him. But after the way he reacted last time, and how distant he’s been all week? Yeah, whatever this is, he needs to let it out. And apparently, I’m the only one brave enough to deal with it. Lucky me.

I peel myself off the sofa and start toward him—slowly. So slowly it feels like I’m approaching a rabid dog instead of my best mate. The hairs on my arms prickle, and by the time I finally sink into the seat beside him, my heart’s pounding in my throat.