Page 108 of Louder Than Words

“Mommy!” Charlie and Lydia shriek before their small bodies collide with mine.

For a moment, I can’t move. I can’t breathe. It takes me a few seconds to understand that this is in fact real.

I can smell their watermelon shampoo.

I can feel their soft, auburn ringlets pressed against both of my cheeks.

And most of all, I can feel their body heat radiating into mine, like it’s thawing my heart from the inside out.

My eyes cloud with tears, but through the blur I can make out Trevor standing in front of Jax, looking far more disheveled than usual. His blonde hair sticks out in so many directions it almost makes me dizzy.

Jax stands with his arms crossed, his expression unreadable. They talk for a few minutes, voices low, until I notice Jax’s shoulders start to relax. When Trevor finally reaches out to shake his hand, I’m more confused than ever.

Charlie pulls away first, already bouncing on her toes. “Can we help decorate the tree? Please, Mama! Can Jax too? Is that my stocking?”

She’s so excited, bouncing so fast, it’s hard not to laugh. My eyes follow her every jump, while Lydia remains tucked tightly against me.

“Yes, baby, of course,” I tell her, though my gaze drifts back to the guys.

Jax runs a hand through his hair before accepting Trevor’s handshake, giving him what I like to call a bro hug—one arm slung over his shoulder with a quick, loud pat on the back. My eyebrows pinch together as I glance back at Charlie.

“Just give us a few minutes, okay, baby?” I say, rising with Lydia still clinging to me like a koala.

I inch closer to them, trying to stay out of sight but close enough to catch even a snippet of what they’re saying. That’s when I see it—

A manila envelope tucked beneath Trevor’s arm.

My heart lurches into my throat while tears sting my eyes. I can already feel the tremor starting in my hands.

“Did—did you?”

I can’t even get the words completely out.

Jax turns, clearly reading the panic written all over my face. His features soften as he tilts his head. Then, gently, he places both hands on my shoulders and presses a soft kiss to my cheek.

“Why don’t you give me Lydia?” he asks quietly.

My chest tightens. Because I already know what that envelope means.

My grip tightens around her. “W-why?”

I can’t lose them. I won’t.

His hands slide beneath Lydia’s arms. “Trust me, love. Talk to him.”

Before I can think more of it, he slips Lydia out of my arms and walks past me, settling beside Charlie on the floor in front of the tree.

Then it’s just Trevor and me, standing in front of what used to beourdoorway. And all I can think about is snatching that envelope and shoving him right back out the door.

Because I know why he’s here.

He’s here to get the rest of their things.

“Hey, Allie,” he says, his voice a little shaky. “D-do you mind if we talk in the kitchen?”

My arms fold across my chest. “Why can’t we talk right here?”

“Because it’s—”