Page 63 of Don't Think

I stare at the message for a few minutes longer before sliding it into my backpack and zipping it away.

Out of sight, out of mind, right?

“Nora wants to go see the sloths, so I’m sitting this one out,” Ana says, dropping onto the bench behind me.

I slide in beside her, shoulders slumping the second they hit the backrest.

“You don’t want to see the sloths?” I ask.

“No, those things freak me out. They literally live in slow motion.”

I laugh, shaking my head while my eyes drift to the people passing by. I watch for a minute, maybe two, before my gaze gradually drops to the ground and stays there.

“Alright, what’s wrong?” Ana asks, turning to face me.

“Nothing.” I scrunch up my face. “Why?”

“Don’t give me the ‘nothing’ spiel. You’re literally frowning at the pavement, and I know it beat the hell out of you today, but something’s going on.”

I roll my eyes and push my backpack under the bench with my foot. Then, I turn to face her and sigh.

“Jax texted me,” I admit quietly. “Asked if I wanted to talk about last night.”

“Do you?”

I scoff. “No. I don’t want to relive that, thank you very much.”

Ana shifts toward me and grabs my hands, squeezing them gently. “Okay, listen. I want you to know I love you before I say what I need to say.”

She takes a deep breath, her face straight and serious, before blurting, “But grow up.”

My mouth falls open. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” she says, not even flinching. “You kissed a guy. A guy you like, for that matter. One who clearly likes you back, and now you’re spiraling like you committed some crime.”

I blink rapidly, fully stunned at how blunt she’s being right now.

“You didn’t ruin anything. You had one vulnerable,humanmoment, and now you’re acting like he’s going to put your picture in his burn book,” she continues when I don’t respond.

I cross my arms, sinking deeper into the bench. “You make it sound so simple.”

“Because itis.He texted you, didn’t he? That means he’s thinking about it too. He wants to talk. That doesn’t strike me as a guy who finds yourepulsiveafter what happened last night.”

My eyes sting with tears, threatening to spill if she keeps pushing.

She doesn’t get it.Anyof it. How much I want to be that confident person, the one who believes they deserve the rock star, the happiness, the love, any of it.

Iwantto believe I deserve these things.

I just don’t. At least not right now.

She places a warm hand on my back, rubbing gently before leaning in closer.

“You’ve got to stop telling yourself you deserve anything less,” she says. “I know Trevor spent years making you feel invisible, but that’s not your life anymore, Allie. You left, remember? Because you knew you were capable of so much more than that. You deserve to have the kind of future that doesn’t make you feelsmall. And it’s right there in front of you.” She shrugs. “So take it.”

I nod, then look up at her with a small smile. “I’ll think about it.”

She throws an arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer before resting her head against mine.