Page 24 of Don't Think

Suddenly, my laptop feels like a pile of bricks in my lap. I bite down on my lip and juststare, eyes burning from the harsh glow of the screen.

What the hell do I do now?

Do I say screw it and send a message anyway just for peace of mind? Even if I risk coming off like a complete creep? What if sheiswith someone, and this just complicates everything for her?

Or... do I leave it alone and pretend I’m not stuck in a constant loop of that moment? Her on the ground, me frozen on stage, guilt carving me from the inside out?

My thumb hovers over the trackpad, waiting for my brain to catch up and make a simple decision. But all it does is drown me in questions I can’t answer.

Why am I even taking it this far?

Would I do the same thing if it were anyone else?

“You look about the same way I feel when I have to answer those stupid maths security questions,” James says from beside me.

I let out a quiet laugh and finally tear my eyes away from the screen.

“It certainly feels that way,” I admit quietly.

“What’s going on?” he asks, turning to face me fully.

I frown. “Honestly, I’m not really sure where to start.”

“How about from the beginning?”

My eyes return to the screen where Allie’s profile picture is still glowing, and finally close out of the tab.

I look around the room to see Gareth passed out beside me, mouth hanging open and all. Casey is, too, only he’s somehow managed to fall asleep sitting upright like a statue.

Rubbing my hands down my thighs, my pulse picks up just thinking about saying anything out loud. Especially with other people listening in.

It’s not that I don’t trust Casey, but… he’s still new. We’ve never had a real conversation about anything that wasn’t music. And the idea of him overhearing this—thisthingthat I don’t even fully understand yet—makes my skin itch.

James looks at me again with every ounce of patience a person can hold, which is saying something. James is like a hyperactive kid who usually has zero ability to sit still.

I shift in my seat, facing him over Gareth’s giant head.

And then I tell himeverything.

About the supermarket. About the meet-and-greet and how much I wanted to cut it early to talk to her. How I couldn’t shake the image, even after we left the venue. How I didn’t know her,don’tknow her, but still can’t stop thinking about her. About how I spent two hours searching through every version of “Allie W-something” I could think of. All of it out in the open.

He doesn’t say anything at first, just sits there nodding like he’s trying his hardest to understand.

Then he leans back against the chair, letting out a slow breath. “Shit.”

“Yeah.”

“So, you like her, then?”

I roll my eyes. “I don’tlikeher. I don’t even know her. It’s just—” I pause, trying to find the right words. “It’s the way it happened. Everything just… stuck to my brain like a leech.”

He nods. “And now you feel responsible.”

I shrug. “I just think there was more I should have done.”

He leans forward, elbows on his knees. “You calling it over the mic?Thatwas doing something about it. Most people wouldn’t have even done that, man.”

I stay silent. Not truly knowing what to say. Should that be enough? Maybe. But it still doesn’t feel right.