Page 39 of All's Fair in Love & Wrath

“Axel . . .” My name sounds so good, whispered on her lips. I can’t respond, so I breathe out slowly, Sienna right there to inhale. Fuck, why is this so hot? I don’t pull back this time, my hand moving of its own accord, reaching out and brushing my fingertips against the back of her hand, gently sliding down to her fingers. The touch is so fucking featherlight, but it makes me feel fuckingeverything. Sienna’s fingers flex, her eyes softening as she holds the smoke in her lungs and then slowly breathes out, the foggy color whisping around her pretty face.

I’m in complete awe of her.

We stand there, moments after the smoke has cleared, suspended in this connection I’ve never felt before. She has absolutely no idea how much power she holds, how strong she is. Her eyes alone hold me hostage, the chemistry between us crackling and sparking. Touch has always been what I need most, what I enjoy, but this right here with Sienna? I’ve never felt closer to another person before, and there isn’t a single part of us physically touching.

Then a loud bang pops off, followed by laughs from down the hallway. Sienna gasps, jumping backward, her arms curling around her midsection again. I don’t think, I just react, standing and wrapping my arms around her shoulders, pulling her into a hug. Before I have a second to realize my mistake—that I’m touching her, that she may not have wanted this—shefuckingmeltsinto me. Her body relaxes, her shoulders curling inward toward my chest, her head tucked right under my chin.

“You’re okay, baby girl. It was just some assholes messing around. I’ve got you.” My hand moves up and down her back in comfort, my palm smooth against her spine. My other hand combs into her still-damp hair, fingertips massaging lightly into her scalp. Her scent surrounds me, fresh jasmine, and a hint of . . .me. Having her in my arms like this feels right, and I don’t want to let her go. In fact, I want to hold her like this all night. Which shocks the shit out of me because I’ve never wanted to do anything remotely close to resembling affection in that way before.

I let Sienna lead, holding her close until she steps back. Her pretty blue eyes are hazy and heavily lidded, the THC doing what it does best.

“How ya feelin’, sweetheart?”

“Calm. Centered. Like I want to finish that puzzle.”

I smile brightly at her. “Then we had better get to work.”

Puzzles were a way for me to pass the time that didn’t include work or fucking. It’s something I’ve done since Queenie threw one at me and told me to take a break from constantly trying to prove myself. No one knew about it except the two of us.

And now Sienna.

Chapter Fourteen

SIENNA

When Saint handed me over to the Hell’s Heathens, I imagined a lot of things. Mostly worst-case scenario situations that I wish were a figment of my imagination. There’s something so sadistically tragic about knowing that real life is so much worse than my imagination could ever be. When you’ve experienced the worst of humanity, of men, you know exactly what can happen.

Being raped and abused the way I was, it changed me at a molecular level. It, in equal parts, numbed me from conjuring up my own imagination of what men are capable of and also frightened me that it isn’t my imagination and fear of the possibility. It’s the innate firsthand knowledge of what can and does happen. I understand why my mom apologized for bringing a baby girl into the world, because like most of us, she understood all too well the danger that exists, not from her own imagination, but from experience. She told me it happened to her once, too, years before I was born. Too many of us have experienced this, and I wish like hell something could be done to make it stop.

Ever since that night, I couldn’t bear the sight of men, couldn’t be alone with them, with the exception of Maddox, Lincoln, and Gage. Gage stayed at work with me until I believed that Tommy wasn’t just like the rest of them out there.

But then in walked a tattooed biker that changed everything. He gives me hope that life can be different, better. That one day I might not be “fine,” that I genuinely could be great—amazing, even. Axel looks at me like I’m Sienna, the girl before the damage was done to her. There’s no pity, and I’ve never once felt the shame or fear that constantly stays with me throughout every moment of every day when I’m with him. Axel just lets me be, well, me. Someone I haven’t been in years.

“So why a fall landscape?” I ask as we sit next to each other on the bed, working to piece the puzzle together. We’ve been at it for a few hours, with no signs of slowing down, my high long worn off. I had never smoked before and had always wanted to try it. Gage almost let me once, but Maddox threatened to castrate him, so that went out the window quickly.

“My favorite season,” he answers simply.

“Mine too. It’s the perfect temperature, and it’s so beautiful outside. I love watching the earth change and prepare for the harsh winter, the trees molting and shedding so they can survive another year. It’s beautiful.”

“It is. I go out on my bike a lot. Amberwood is stunning in the fall.”

“Most of Washington is. Not that I’ve seen much of it. Autumn Bay is a bit more coastal; the rocky shoreline is gorgeous when the fog rolls in, the driftwood littering the beaches, the waves crashing violently. My brothers used to surf, and I’d sit on a tree trunk and watch from the edge,” I tell him. “What were you like as a teenager?”

Axel pops another piece into place, the rust-colored leaves coming together at the top of the tree.

“Mayhem, mostly. Born in Arizona, I was in foster care growing up, got a job, saved my money, bought my first bike, and left as soon as I could. Ended up here, of all places.”

“Do you regret it? Club life?”

“Nah. Not for a second. I never belonged, never had a family, never felt peace where I could just be myself. Then I met our old president, and he took me in, gave me a place where I could push boundaries, explore the world around me while having a safety net to fall back on when I needed it. I found myself here. They didn’t just give me a job and a place to put my head at night that wasn’t a park bench. They gave me a family, a second chance at life.”

I don’t realize tears have started until one splashes onto the puzzle below us. Axel notices right away, because of course he does. He reaches out hesitantly, waiting for me to tell him no, giving me time to stop his touch, but I don’t want to. For the first time since I can remember, I welcome it. His hand cups my face and I lean into it, his palm warm against my skin. His thumb gently swipes under my eyes, wiping away the few rogue tears. It’s such a sweet, comforting gesture, and it melts and soothes every muscle in my body.

“Your tears kill me.” There goes my heart doing that flip in my chest again.

“I’m just happy you found that. Everyone deserves a place to heal, to grow. A place where they really belong.”

“Tell me what you were like.” His hand drops away, and I miss it immediately.