Page 74 of Vow of Desire

“Is it? It would have been better if he died. Then you wouldn’t have to be with him.”

“Daddy… he saved my life. Matteo isn’t a monster, like I once thought him to be. You have to understand that. I married him for peace and we have to stick with that. You can’t hurt him just because you’re not happy. I’m happy with him now. Shouldn’t that count for something?”

He hesitates. “I wish it did. But I still hate that you’re married to him. You were put into danger because of him.”

“Because of Matteo? This wasn’t Matteo’s doing. It was Dante. He came after us… because of me.” Shame hits me hard but I push it aside. I don’t have room for it right now.

“What do you mean? That can’t be true.”

“But it is true. I ran into Dante once before. I gave him Alexandra’s name as my own. Turns out, he’s crazy. He killed herbecause he was upset she wasn’t me. When he found out who I really am, he came for me and Matteo. I’m the reason me and my husband were put in danger. I’m the reason my husband almost died.”

“No,” he says, taking my hand. “None of that is your fault. Dante is a madman.”

“But you still think Matteo is somehow to blame, don’t you?”

He sighs, shaking his head. “I can’t help it. I hate your husband, Luciana. I hate that you had to be sacrificed. I want to save you.”

“And you think killing my husband is saving me? The man who saved me from Dante? Dante could come for me again if Matteo is dead. Don’t you want me to be with a man who would put his own life on the line to save me? Isn’t that what any father would want?”

“It is,” he admits.

“Then let it go, Dad. I’m happy Matteo is alive. When I’m feeling better, I’m going to go see him. And he and I are going to make our marriage work. I’ve been holding on to a lot of bad feelings. A lot of guilt and shame I never needed to feel. But after what Matteo and I went through… I realize that everything I had felt was pointless. Life is too short for me to waste it being miserable. I’m going to choose to be happy no matter what. I don’t care if something is socially acceptable anymore. I don’t care if I’m not as proper. I just want to be happy and I want to be happy with my husband.”

Tears well up in my father’s eyes and he cries right before me. It’s a rare sight. “Sweetheart, you sound so grown up.”

“That’s because I am.”

“I don’t want to lose you.”

“You’re not losing me,” I say with a smile. “I’ll always be your daughter. We’ll still see each other. That’s not going to change.So don’t worry. I’m fine, Dad. Isn’t this what you wanted for me? To be happy?”

“I wanted you to be safe.” His admission tells me everything. My father hasn’t cared for my happiness unless it suits him and what he wants. The sting that settles in my chest is too much.

I pull away from him. “I need some time alone. Please. Give that to me.”

He wipes at his tears and finally nods, walking out of the room. I feel like I can breathe again with him gone.

Now I just have to wait until I’m better enough to go see my husband.

Except, the longer I wait, the more antsy I become. I need to see Matteo now.

I force my body out of bed, even though it’s painful. The infection was mostly in my foot but it still spread to the rest of my body. I’m achy all over.

I use the crutches the nurse gave me for whenever I need to use the bathroom and hobble out of the room. The nurse on duty is busy looking at her computer and doesn’t notice me when I walk past. I’m going to find my husband.

Room 205 comes into view. We’re on the same floor. It’s fate.

I round the corner and enter into the room…

Only to see my father standing over Matteo with a pillow in his hands. Matteo is asleep, unaware of what’s about to happen.

I gasp when my father presses the pillow to Matteo’s face. My husband twitches. His body is fighting what my father is trying to do to him.

“Stop!” I scream.

My father jerks away from Matteo and drops the pillow. Matteo’s breathing returns to normal. He still hasn’t woken up yet.

A nurse comes running into the room. “What’s going on?” She looks between me and my father and Matteo. “Honey, you should be resting. You shouldn’t be in here.”