Page 46 of Vow of Desire

“Then go talk to Aurora again. She’ll tell you that I’m not wrong.”

He continues to stroke his penis. I watch in fascination as it grows even bigger.

“Do you want to touch me?” he asks.

His question startles me into sitting up. “I…”

“I won’t force you, Luciana. But fuck, I would love for you to touch me. You don’t have to be scared of me or my body. Wrap your hands around my cock.”

“Is that what you call it? I’ve never heard that before.”

His smile is soft and sweet – it’s not something I get to see from him all that often. “You really are so innocent. I’m sorry you were kept in the dark on these things. Yes, I call it my cock. You can call it that too.”

“Isn’t it dirty? It seems… dirty.”

“It can be. But there’s nothing wrong with enjoying all of this. Do you want to touch me?”

Matteo is giving me an out. I can say no and I know he’ll probably be disappointed and I’ll feel like a failure again. Or I can say yes, explore new possibilities and enjoy my time with my husband, even if it does make me feel conflicted.

I decide to be brave. “Yes.”

My hands are shaking too much so Matteo takes them and wraps them around his penis. Or his cock as he calls it.

“Just do what feels good,” he says.

“What about what you want?”

“Trust me. It all feels good.”

Even though I’m scared, I let myself explore his body. I touch all over his penis, from the tip to the top. My fingers even skim along his balls. That makes Matteo hiss and his eyes darken.

“Am I doing something wrong?” I ask.

“No,” he says through gritted teeth. “You’re doing something right. It feels so fucking good. Don’t stop.”

I focus on his tip and roll it around, fascinated by the touch and feel of it all. His body is so different from mine. So many things to explore. The longer I touch him, the less intimidated I feel. The more I know I can do this.

And judging from the pleasure on Matteo’s face, I’m making him feel good, which means I’m doing this right. Maybe I’m not a complete failure after all.

Matteo’s breath comes out faster and his hips buck forward. “Fuck, Luciana. I’m going to come. I don’t want to scare you so you should let go.”

I do as he says and watch as he grabs a tissue from the nightstand and wraps it around his penis. He strokes himself a few more times before groaning. I see his semen enter the tissue. I was taught about that when I was told how babies are made. It’s much more interesting to see in person than in a textbook.

He goes into the ensuite bathroom and comes back out, sans tissue. His penis is flaccid. In a blink of an eye, his body has changed. Everything has changed.

He stuffs his penis back into his pants before cupping my face. I can’t help but blush from knowing what we just did. And yet, it hadn’t felt wrong. Not a second of it.

Matteo gives me a long, lingering kiss that I want to melt into. “I have to go to work,” he says with a groan. “I would much prefer to stay in bed with you all day.”

“You should go to work.” I need time to think about what we just shared and how much it has changed me.

I know in this moment that things will never be the same between me and Matteo again.

Chapter Twelve

Matteo

Rocco sends death glares my way as I sit in the back booth with Gabriel. Rocco stands near the booth, refusing to sit down. I noticed that Leo isn’t even here. It’s a smart move that Gabriel is keeping me and Leo apart. After how I tried to kill him and steal his wife, it’s better that we don’t interact much.