Page 22 of Vow of Desire

He huffs. “Just nice? Tell me what you’re really thinking.”

“I’m thinking that… I like that it’s not covered in pink.”

“I wasn’t expecting that answer,” he admits.

I shake my head with a rueful smile. “My bedroom back home is covered in pink. You know that. You saw it.”

“I did.”

“It was a little girl’s room. I wanted to change it and my father wouldn’t let me. Even though I’m an adult now. I had to keep it that way all my life. So… I am happy I’ll have a new bedroom that is more fitting for an adult. That is the honest truth.”

He nods. “Thank you for that.”

“But I also feel… scared,” I blurt out. “Because I have to live my life with you now. What are you going to do to me in this room?”

Matteo sighs and walks over to the bed and sits down. “Luciana, come here.” He pats the spot beside him. “Sit down.”

I can’t get my legs to move.

“I’m not going to bite.” A dark smile crosses his face. “Unless you want me to. Sit.”

I was taught to be obedient and obedient I shall be. My legs manage to move until I’m seated beside him.

“See?” he says. “You’re on the bed with me and I’m controlling myself. I won’t rape you. I think I proved that last night. You don’t have to fear me so much. We could enjoy each other’s company. We could have fun. There’s so much I could teach you. So much pleasure I could show you.”

A tingle settles in my stomach. Pleasure would be wonderful but that would be giving myself to Matteo and I still can’t stop feeling afraid of him.

“You don’t have to fear me,” he murmurs, leaning in close to my ear. I gasp. “I can touch you. Show you what it’s like to be claimed by a man. All you have to do is say yes.”

“I’ll do my duty,” I say uncertainly.

He pulls back with a frown. “That’s not what I meant. I don’t want you to just do your duty. You did that when you married me. But now I want you to let go of all the tension you’re holding on to. I want you to enjoy my touch. I don’t want you to fear me so much. It’s exhausting.”

I flinch. “I’m sorry I’m not living up to your standards.”

“That’s not what I –,” he cuts himself off. “Luciana, I can tell you’re used to certain things. You’re used to a life where you were treated like a princess. I saw your old bedroom. I’ve seen the way your father treats you. You expect perfection but life is not perfect. I know that better than anyone. Things can change in the blink of an eye. But I don’t want a wife who fears my every move. I want a wife to desire me. What do you want?”

“I don’t know,” I admit.

“Don’t you want a husband to desire you? I can show you desire, Luciana. I can show you so much pleasure if you would just let me.”

“How can I let you when I’m scared you’ll kill my father if things don’t go your way?”

He blinks, looking stunned. “I know I did threaten his life. I was just reminding you that you had to go through with the marriage or there wouldn’t be peace. But we’re married now. I don’t need to kill your father. Just don’t run from me. That’s all I ask.”

“But you’ll expect things from me, eventually. At some point, you’ll want me to have sex with you. And I’ll do it. But I…”

“You want the choice,” he murmurs. “I understand that. So I’ll give you that choice. I’ll let you come to me when you’re ready. But you have to try to not fear me so much. You have to work at this marriage.”

“What if you can’t wait forever?”

“I don’t think it will take forever. I think you’ll eventually desire me. I believe it. Am I ugly to you?”

“No,” I say without thinking.

He smirks which only makes me blush. “You think I’m handsome?”

“Yes,” I admit.