Page 14 of Vow of Desire

Without a word, Matteo nods at the priest while still keeping his eyes glued to mine.

The priest begins the ceremony, talking about love and honor and obeying one’s husband. Fighting for one another. Choosing each other every day. It all sounds so romantic and yet it feels like a trap. I’ll be bound to Matteo in just a moment and then I’ll never have my freedom.

I don’t even know what my freedom looks like. More shopping? More fake conversations with older mafia women? In this moment, I don’t know anything.

“Do you, Matteo Marani, take this woman, Luciana Santori, to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do.” Matteo places a ring onto my finger. It’s binding. I am his now. My hands feel numb but I still feel that tingling sensation in my stomach. Is it fear? Excitement? I have no idea.

I can feel the priest’s eyes on me but I don’t look away from Matteo. Don’t crack. Don’t crack. Don’t crack.

“Do you, Luciana Santori, take this man, Matteo Marani, to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

The room goes quiet. Someone coughs. No music to hide my answer. I’m on complete display.

To save my father’s life, I have to do this.

“I do,” I answer as confidently as I can. The priest hands me the ring and I slip it onto Matteo’s finger. His large, strong hands. He could hurt me with these hands.

He could also show me love with these if he chooses.

I may have been sheltered all my life but I know what happens between a husband and a wife. I know that sex can feel good. It’s obvious from everything I’ve read and seen on TV.

Will it feel good with Matteo? Can I give him my body tonight to cement our union?

Matteo wraps his large hand around mine, encompassing it. I feel so tiny next to him. I’m not sure that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss.”

Matteo cups my face before leaning down and pressing his lips to mine. It’s a small kiss. Nothing more. But it’s my first one and it lights a fire in my stomach. My lips feel like they’re tingling even after he pulls away.

With a smirk, Matteo takes my arm and walks us down the aisle as our guests cheer for us. My eyes pass by my father to see him crying. He’s the only one who looks miserable.

Matteo doesn’t say a word to me until we get into the back seat of our car that will take us to the wedding reception. “You didn’t run.”

I startle, having been gazing out the window, watching the beautiful old buildings pass me by. My eyes flick to the driver. It’s not Tom. This new driver is one that belongs to Matteo. My life belongs to Matteo now.

“No, I didn’t,” I murmur. “I’m not naïve. You would have hurt my father otherwise. I wasn’t going to let that happen.”

“Since we’re married now, there will be peace between our families. I have no reason to go after your father and he has no reason to go after me. I didn’t want a war in the first place.”

“So why did you kidnap Emma then if you didn’t want to cause problems?”

I can feel him looking at me but I don’t look at him. “Like I already told you: I was promised her and then that promise was broken. It made me angry. But as long as everyone keeps to their word, there won’t be any problems. Contrary to what you might believe, Luciana, I don’t enjoy getting into fights. I like living.”

His words should be comforting but they only make me more tense.

“We’re married now,” he continues. “It’s best to let the past rest and focus on our future. Wouldn’t you agree?”

“Yes.” It would be the best thing for me. To forget the terrible things my husband has done. Maybe he won’t be terrible to me. Maybe he’ll be nice and I can find a happy life with him.

But it’s hard to start a happy life with someone you didn’t choose. A life you were raised for and yet, it’s nothing like I expected now that it’s a reality.

We arrive at the elegant hotel that’s hosting our wedding reception. Our guests are already here when we walk into the ballroom. They clap for us as if we’re performers on a stage and I guess in some ways, we are. I know I’m faking the smile on my face right now.

Matteo takes me onto the dance floor for our first dance. His hand on my low back is distracting. Despite how scary he is, myhusband is a handsome man and it’s making my stomach do flips. I rest my hand on his arm and can feel the strong muscle underneath his jacket. It makes my face flush.

“You’re a good dancer,” he says as he guides me around the dance floor. Our guests watch. Feeling all of their eyes on me makes me stumble and it’s Matteo who rightens me. A glance in the direction of my father shows me he has his head in his hands. Another glance in Alexandra’s direction shows her smirking with her friends. My head feels lightheaded.