Page 13 of The Cheerleader is Off Limits

Delaney:

Are you going to fuck him in the bathroom? A little mile high club action?

Me:

No, that only works on a private plane, hello?

I scrunch my nose in remembrance of the terrible sex I had with some prince’s nephew or cousin or something when their family flew my parents in for a photo shoot. The plane was nothing short of gorgeous and the bathroom was the size of a football field but the sex wasterrible.Like truly awful.Which is when I quickly learned that men who were in any way affiliated with royalty often felt as if they didn’t have to do anything. Like I should feel blessed and honored not to only be in theirs buttheir dick’spresence.

Delaney:

So what’s he like?

Me:

Well for one… he’s a bit older.

Delaney:

What’s a bit?

Me:

38

Delaney:

YEARS OLD?

Me:

I can hear you yelling from here.

Delaney:

Babe, that’s older than MY dad.

Me:

Well yeah, but your parents had you when they were like 12.

Delaney:

F off! My dad was 19 and my mom was 17.

Me:

Semantics, your parents are young.

Delaney:

Whatever, I’m not judging. It’s hot… ish. What’s his name?

Me:

River. And he is very hot.

Delaney: