Page 173 of Small Town, Big Storm

Congrats.You’ve outlived me.

Knowing you, you’re probably reading this expecting some sort of grand apology, expecting me to beg you for forgiveness for all the things you think I’ve done wrong.

You’re not going to get one.

People are who they are.Life is hard and oftentimes shit.I was hard on you and your brother because you both needed to be toughened up.Without it, you would have been chewed up and spit out.The world isn’t kind to weak men, to soft men.

You needed that.

And maybe because of it, you thought I hated you.Maybe that’s where I went wrong.Because hating you would have been easier than trying to make something of you.

The truth is I expected more from you than anyone else.You HAD to be better or you would never have gotten out of this godforsaken town.

And there’s no point in arguing about it now—you made it to the NHL.You have your career, money, fame, women.You got everything you ever wanted.

You should be thanking me.

Though you probably hate me, blame me, tell everyone what a bastard I was and how I ruined your life.

People like villains, like to have someone to root against.

Your brother certainly does.

I’m sure you two have found plenty to say about me now that I’m dead.This whole town is probably pissing and moaning and gossiping about all of my poor decisions.

Funny how everyone suddenly becomes an expert the moment a man’s in the ground, isn’t it?

Now about the girl.

Poppy tried to reach you.She even came here to do it.But by then you were gone chasing your dream.Maybe I should have tracked you down.Maybe you should have come back.Doesn’t matter much now.You weren’t here, and she wasn’t going to wait forever.

Whatever happens between the two of you, leave Holly out of it.She didn’t ask for any of this.

I’ve left an account for the girl’s education.The lawyer has the details.

The girl seems smart enough and it would be a shame if she never got a chance at a good future just because the adults around her couldn’t get their shit together.

Don’t piss the money away on something useless.Help the girl build whatever life she wants.

And don’t go reading into this?—

I’m not asking for forgiveness.

I’m dead.What fucking use would that be to me?

Maybe it would give something to you.

Or maybe it wouldn’t.

Either way, that’s your burden now.

Not mine.

“Jesus,” I mutter, crumpling the paper and turning to my brother to see he’s done the same thing.

“You got that right,” Rain mutters back.“He…” A shake of his head.“He never changed did he?”

That pain in my brother…