Page 126 of Small Town, Big Storm

“Look,” I say when I catch up to him.“I was an asshole.”

He snorts, keeps walking.

Jesus.Fine.

I’ll apologize for real.

I force out a breath, grit my teeth, and lean into that very un-Harrison thing.“I’m sorry.”

He skids to a stop.“You’resorry?”

I roll my eyes.“I was a dick.I…” I stare into his eyes, look past the surly edge of his temper and see…

Fuck, I seeme—edgy and tense and sad and hurt and pissed off at the world and not sure how to move forward because no one has a goddamned playbook for this fucked-up game we’ve been thrown into.

So, I take a breath.

I shove back the anger, the hurt, the years of miserable memories, and I sit in the truth?—

“We’re not dad.”

He jerks.

“I tried to be,” I admit.“The last year and a half, I did my best to become him.”I suck in a breath, exhale heavily.“But turns out that it wouldn’t stick.”

“Because of Holly,” he says.

“No, because I’mnotdad.”A beat as I let that sink in.For him.Forme.“And neither are you.”

His eyes flare with emotion and he looks away.

“It was a low blow to accuse me of running again,” I say quietly.“You know I wouldn’t have left if I’d known.Same as I know that you needed to get the fuck out of that house in order to not get sucked into the shit that dad created.”

“I shouldn’t have left,” he whispers.“You were alone and?—”

He breaks off, shakes his head.

“You were alone,” he says again.

Damn.

I exhale heavily, but for the first time in a long time, there’s not even a whisper of rage inside me.Instead, I feel…sad.Tired.And maybe a little hopeful.Because I’m not going to live like I was, not going keep allowing the same cycles to replay over and over andoveragain.“You were a kid, Rain.You were just trying to live your life.There’s nothing to regret.”

He clenches his jaw.

“Things were bad after you left—but they were fucked when you were here too.Nothing you did would have changed it.”

“Except if I’d stayed,” he says quietly.

Stubborn fuck.

I’m trying to extend an olive branch.

Unfortunately, he seems determined to take it from me…and then flagellate himself with it.

“By that logic, I’m just as guilty as you.It was easier to run, to stay away, to avoid all the pain this town, that house brought.”I sigh.“And because of that, I missed out on six years of Holly’s life.I missed Poppy’s pregnancy.I wasn’t here to feel Holly kick inside Poppy’s belly, didn’t hear her first word, wasn’t here to hug her when she got hurt or hold Poppy’s hand when she pushed her out.”

That sadness grows heavier.