Page 30 of The CEO and the Mountain Man

“In what way, son?”

“She started taking antidepressants, and … I don’t know.” He seemed to search for the words. “She just wasn’t like Mom anymore. And I wanted to tell you, but I knew it would make her feel bad, so I didn’t. And I should’ve, ’cause if I had told you, you would’ve helped.”

“Of course I would have helped if I could,” Clark said softly. “But she might not have been willing to receive my help.”

River considered his father’s words. “You’re right. Probably not.”

“I gotta know, Riv. Why would you think the accident is your fault?”

More tears. River opened and closed his mouth a few times before he could make the words.

“Because when we got into the car to come visit you for Christmas, I told her I was really proud of the present I was gonna give her.” He stopped, palming his forehead, breathing sohard I thought he’d hyperventilate. “And she said that the only thing that would make her proud of me is if I helped her get Serg back.”

Clark pressed his fingertips to his lips. “It wasn’t fair of her to ask you that.”

“She just wasn’t in her right mind, you know? She wasn’t in her right mind.” River shook out his hands. “And then we got to the hill, and I told her to slow down, but she wouldn’t.”

Clark inhaled sharply, his eyes wide. “River…”

“And I tried to get the wheel from her. I tried to turn the car, but I couldn’t reach the brake.” He rubbed his hip. “I was twisting, trying to get my foot onto the driver’s side. That’s how my ankle and hip got fucked up.”

He folded in on himself, and the tears returned. I knew he was trying to say more, but he couldn’t seem to form the words.

“Riv, whatever you have to tell me, it will be okay. I will still love you, and it will be okay.”

“You don’t get it, Dad.” He bit his lip, shaking his head. “Turning the wheel made us lose control. It’s my fault we ran into the tree. I kept grabbing for the wheel. And I killed her because I couldn’t … I couldn’t…”

River’s words devolved into sobs, and Clark wrapped his son up like a precious thing.

I was watching father and son fall apart before my very eyes, and in that moment, my degree and all my years of experience felt entirely useless.

Chapter 9

Clark

As the truth of what River was saying filtered through my sluggish brain cells, I was so grateful that Beau was there. His quiet presence was pretty much the only thing keeping me in one piece.

“River,” Beau said so gently, “everything you have shared is heartbreaking. I’m so, so sorry that you went through that. I have to echo what your dad said, though. None of this is your fault.”

Of course, I could have said that till I was blue in the face, but I think it helped coming from someone we didn’t know all that well. Beau placed his hand on River’s shoulder. “Would you like to spend some time with the horses? Or perhaps go back to your cabin?”

“The cabin,” River answered, his voice nearly gone. “My head hurts from all the crying, and I just wanna sleep.”

Beau nodded. “Then why don’t you and your dad hang out here for a moment, and I’ll come back around with one of the utes?”

River sniffled loudly and nodded.

Beau touched my elbow.You okay?he mouthed.

I shook my head.

He gave me a grim smile. “I’ll be right back.”

I realized belatedly that Beau had moved us out of view of everyone. He had given us a private spot and space to really talk. We felt so small there in the shadows, surrounded by acres of ranch land and mountains.

Returning my focus to River, I pulled him back into my arms. “I know you don’t quite believe us when we say this wasn’t your fault. But I need you to understand that I don’t blame you even for a second. Not because you grabbed the wheel, not because you’re gay, not because of any of it. And you will never be able to convince me otherwise.”

River blinked, his eyelashes spiky with tears. “But the car wouldn’t have started skidding.”