Page 50 of Hollywood

“I’m figuring that out. I don’t know how I’d have done it without him.”

“You’d have found a way. You’d just be a lot more tired.”

I laughed, knowing she was right. That first day, when I thought Tex was heading home and I’d spent a difficult few hours at the hospital with Ruby, I’d gotten a tiny taste of what that must be like. I was glad I didn’t get the full serving.

“How are you doing?” I asked. “You look tired yourself.”

“Yeah. Between visiting Carrie, fielding my mom’s calls, taking care of the kids, and picking up a few night shifts?—”

“Wait, hold on. You have a night job too?”

“Things have been tight. The factory has been cutting Mike’s hours back. It’s unpredictable, so we can’t plan around it very well.” She sighed. “It would almost be easier if they just took away a whole day, but no, it’s an hour or two every couple of days, always on different days. So, nights are my only option. Even his days off tend to shift from week to week.”

“That sounds awful.” The coffee finished dripping into the carafe, its light turning off. I grabbed a cup and filled it for her. “Where are you working? Tex is going to look for a night job, too.”

“Sauced,” she said. “I could ask if we need any more dishwashers.”

I grimaced. “That’s okay. He’s already tried them.”

Sauced was the last place that fired Tex. Not because he’d done anything wrong, either. A customer had spotted him bussing tables, and she hadn’t liked the idea of an ex-con working at the restaurant. She’d let the owners know she’d boycott if he stayed on. They were a small business, and they’d worried about the negative publicity if she spread it all over social media. Which, judging by her attitude, she would have.

It wasn’t my favorite place, given the fact it was just one more reason Tex had bailed on Riverton. Maybe if he’d kept that job, if his sister hadn’t had trouble with her ex, if he hadn’t wanted to leave Redemption Road…maybehe wouldn’t have run so easily from me.

Or it would have hurt ten times worse when he did. Because then I’d know I was the only reason he’d left.

I sighed and shook the thoughts from my head. It didn’t matter now, did it? Tex was coming back.

My heart clenched tight. He had to come back.

“You okay?” Kelly asked. “I didn’t mean to discourage you. I’m sure he’ll find work somewhere. Maybe the Fieldhouse needs some bartending help? Or, um, that pool hall? I bet they don’t care about ex-cons working for them.”

“Ouch.” I gave a little laugh. “I don’t know whether you’re insulting the pool house or insulting us.”

She took a sip of her coffee. “I keep putting my foot in my mouth.”

I waved a hand. “It’s okay. I get it. We were criminals, and even though we went to prison, some people still want to punish us.”

She tilted her head thoughtfully. “I guess so. Is that what you think Carrie has been doing?”

“Maybe.”

“She was angry and hurt. You made her so many promises, and then you were just gone. She carried Ruby all those months on her own. She delivered her baby without you.”

“I wanted to be there.”

“But you weren’t,” Kelly said, far less harshly than she could have. “Maybe that wasn’t by choice, but it was because of choices you made. You took risks?—”

“For a good reason,” I said. “The company was ripping off their retirees!”

“Maybe, but you didn’t ask Carrie, did you? She wasn’t aware of the way you were gambling everything you’d promised her, was she?”

I slumped, leaning against the counter and hanging my head. “No.”

“No,” she said softly. “And you both paid for it.”

“Yeah,” I agreed, a pit opening in my stomach. All the darkness that had consumed me in those first weeks after my arrest surged up to suffocate me again. “It wasn’t fair to her. I know that.”

“It wasn’t,” she agreed. “But what you’re doing now? Taking care of Ruby. Stepping up when Carrie needs you? That is going to go a long way to making amends.”