Page 103 of Hollywood

“Oh. Shoot. I’m sorr?—”

“Ruby’s mom was in a car accident.”

“Oh,no. I’m so sorry!”

“She’s okay. She’s recovering in rehab. I’m on my own with Ruby until she’s better.”

“Well, she’s lucky to have you,” she said, glancing toward the swings. “Tommy! No!” She turned and pushed the stroller across the park. “Don’t throw dirt at other kids!”

We sat in silence, our food half-eaten and mostly forgotten between us.

“Sorry,” Hollywood said.

“Why did you do that?” I asked, my voice coming out sharper than I intended.

“Do what?”

“You let her think you’re still with Carrie.”

“No, I?—”

“Do you want to go back to Carrie?” I demanded. “What am I saying? Of course you do. She’s Ruby’s mom, and I’m just the guy helping you out.”

“Tex, no!” Holly’s eyes were wide. “Carrie and I don’t want that. We won’t ever want that again.”

“Not even if it makes Ruby’s family whole?” I challenged.

I didn’t know why I was advocating for something I didn’t want to happen. My heart was racing and my palms had grown clammy.

“Ruby’s familyiswhole,” Hollywood shot back. “She has me. She has Carrie. And she hasyou. Weren’t you just saying you loved her?”

“I do.”

“Okay, then. What’s the problem?”

“You let that mom think you’re still with Carrie,” I said weakly, losing a grasp on what had set me off.

“Yeah, because you’re in the closet. I can’t let her think we’re together.” He blinked hard. “Don’t you think I’d rather tell everyone you’re my boyfriend, Tex? But Ican’t. Not until you’re ready.”

“Maybe I am.”

He gave me a searching look. There was hope, but also fear, in his gaze. “Are you?” he whispered.

“I want to be.”

“That’s not the same thing.”

I cupped his face and gently kissed him. He gasped, lips parting. This was a park full of children, so I couldn’t kiss him like I really wanted.

“I don’t want to be your friend, Hendrix,” I murmured into his ear. “Not to your mother, and to some random person in the park.”

“What do you want to be?”

I licked my lips, suddenly nervous. It was one thing to think it. But to say it took courage. There would be no going back. I drew a breath. “I want to be your boyfriend. Eventhough boyfriend sounds kind of silly. But use whatever word you want, Holls. I want to beyours. That’s the point.”

“Oh my god,” he whispered, eyes full of wonder. “You’re sure? What about when Ruby goes back to Carrie and it’s just me?”

I gave him a searing look. “Then we’ll make good use of our free time by having sex all over the house. Every room. Every hour of the day.”