Page 30 of We Are Okay

“It’s a tiny portrait of Diego Rivera. She painted this during their divorce.”

“So it’s about losing him,” I say.

“Yeah, I guess,” she says. “That’s what my professor says. But doesn’t that make it too simple?”

I turn my head to look at Mabel.

“It’s better if it’s complicated?” I say.

She smiles. “Well, obviously.”

I take another look at the screen. “Maybe it reallyisas simple as it looks, though. She was one person before. She had a whole heart and the man she loved. She was at ease. And then something happened, and it changed her. And now she’s wounded.”

“Are you trying to tell me something?” Mabel says. “Areyou finally answering me? If you need to do it this way, I’d be happy to find a bunch of paintings for you to analyze.”

“No,” I say. “I mean, yes—I know how she feels. But that’s not what I’m doing. I’m just looking at your painting.”

“The thing I most love about it,” Mabel says, “is how they’re holding hands right at the center of the painting. It’s so important. It’s what the whole thing’s about, I think.”

“It could mean so many different things.”

“Like what? I just think it means the Fridas are still connected. Even though she’s changed, she’s still the same person.”

“Yeah, it could mean that,” I say. “But it could also be something else. Like the whole one is trying to pull the wounded one back to her, as if she could undo what’s happened. Or the wounded one is guiding her old self into her new life. Or it could be that they’ve separated almost entirely from each other, and they are holding hands as a last moment of connection before they break apart completely.”

Mabel stares at the image.

“Andwhyare you changing your major?” she asks.

“Because wouldn’t it be better,” I say, “if the hand-holding really just meant they were connected, and you didn’t have to think about the other possibilities?”

“No,” she says. “Not at all. That would not—in any way—be better than realizing that there are many ways to see one thing. I love this painting even more now.”

She sets the computer down on the bed. She stands up and glares down at me.

“Seriously,” she says. “Natural Sciences?”

And then everything goes dark.

chapter nine

WE DECIDE WE SHOULDN’T WORRYbecause, even though it’s cold and getting colder in here, we have jackets and blankets. If it comes to it, we can pick locks and scavenge for candles. For now, we have a few tea lights from Hannah’s drawer.

Our cell phones still have some charge left, but we’re using them sparingly and there’s no Wi-Fi anyway.

“Remember when the power went out sophomore year?” Mabel asks.

“I made you listen to me read all night.”

“Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton.”

“Right. Those were dark poems.”

“Yeah, but they were fun, too.”

“They were defiant,” I say. I remember the sparks in them, I remember how the words made me feel dangerousand strong. “Lady Lazarus” and “Daddy” and all of Anne Sexton’s reimagined fairy tales.

“In my lit class we listened to a recording of Sylvia Plath. Her voice wasn’t what I thought it would sound like.”