Page 24 of We Are Okay

“It’s fool’s gold,” she said. “I turned it into a powder.”

There was so much going on under the top layer. It was quiet, maybe, but it wasn’t simple.

“I can’t decide what to add. It needs something, but I don’t know what. I’ve tried these feathers. I’ve tried rope. I want something nautical. Ithink.”

I understood how she’d feel stuck. What she had was so beautiful. How could she add something to it without taking something away?

“Anyway,” she said, setting down her paintbrushes. “How are my girls this evening? Been shopping, I see.”

We’d spent an hour in Forever 21 trying on dresses for Ben’s party and now we had matching bags, each containing a dress identical but for the color. Mabel’s was red and mine was black.

“Have you eaten? Javier made pozole.”

“The party already started so we have to be quick... ,” Mabel said.

“Take it up to your room.”

“I can’t wait to see what you decide to do.”

Ana turned back to her canvas and sighed.

“Me, too, Marin. Me, too.”

We started with our makeup, applying eye shadow between bites of soup and tostadas. Mabel emptied her jewelry box onto her bed, and we combed through it for accessories. I chose gold bangles and sparkly green earrings. Mabel chose a braided leather bracelet. She thought about switching her gold studs for another pair, but decided to keep them in. We crunched tostadas, finished all the soup in our bowls. We pulled off our shirts and slipped on the dresses, stepped out of our jeans and looked at each other.

“Just different enough,” I said.

“As usual.”

Since we’d met, we had a thing for our names’ symmetry. AnMfollowed by a vowel, then a consonant, then a vowel, then a consonant. We thought it was important. We thought it must have meant something. Like a similar feeling must have passed through our mothers as they named us. Like destiny was at work already. We may have been in different countries, but it was only a matter of time before we would collide into each other.

We were getting ready for the party, but the time was getting later and we weren’t hurrying. The real event was us, in her room. We kept reassessing our makeup even though we barely wore any. We showed each other our empty soup bowls and went back into the kitchen for more.

We were on our way back up to Mabel’s room when I heard Ana and Javier talking in their living room.

“Such good soup!” I called to Javier, and Ana called back, “Let us see our beautiful girls!”

They were sprawled on a sofa together, Javier with a book, Ana sifting through a box of scraps and small objects, her mind still on her collage, trying to solve the mystery of what should come next.

“Oh!” Ana said when she saw us, dismay on her face.

“No, no-no-no-no,” Javier said.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Mabel asked.

“It means you aren’t leaving the house in that dress,” Javier said.

“You guys,” Mabel said. “Seriously?”

Javier said something stern in Spanish, and Mabel’s face flushed with indignation.

“Mom,” she said.

Ana looked back and forth between Mabel and me. Her gaze landed on Mabel and she said, “It looks like lingerie. I’m sorry,mi amor, but you can’t go out like this.”

“Mom,” Mabel said. “Now we don’t have any time!”

“You have plenty of clothes,” Javier said.