Page 196 of Eternal Craving

“No more than you.”

“But are you not excluded from heaven?”

“Me and half of London, if you believe what you read.”

“You’re destined to walk the earth for eternity?”

His words echoed around us. Not for the first time had I considered the idea – immortalized in this body with the abilities of a deity.

I nodded, my fingers tracing my jaw line as I considered the future.

“What did it feel like when you were being changed into a vampire?”

I took a deep breath. “I lost all sense of time and place and then blacked out. When I reopened my eyes, it felt as though I’d awoken from a deep sleep.”

Sunaria’s voice luring me, the thrill of her blood surging through mine, reanimating every nerve, sinew, muscle, and bone…

“When my eyes took in the world again, shapes were more distinctive and colors vibrant. Your senses are so sharp, it takes a while to adjust to the sensory overload.”

“Is there pain?” Jacob’s voice seemed far off.

A difficult question to answer, having been impaled by a child’s sword, the agony of that bled into what followed. I shrugged.

“And now what does it feel like?” Jacob asked.

The ability to feel pleasure so intense that you lose yourself.

I turned over my hands, studying them. “As though I’ve taken on a new body, one that is made out of something other than flesh, and yet it passes for human.”

“When you died, what did you see?” he asked.

“No blinding white light, no beautiful angel. Just a black nothingness. An awful feeling of being awoken from the deepest sleep and then being dragged backwards over hot coals.”

Jacob was riveted.

“Then the agony subsides into euphoria.” I sighed. “I suppose it’s what entices you to come back into your body.”

The candle flickered as though encouraging me to share more.

“What other benefits are there?” He glanced at the fading flame.

“My ability to detect the slightest sound.” I decided to tell him about my flying ability at a later date.

“And you can read minds?”

“Rachel told you that?”

He nodded. “Do you read mine?”

“I try not to.”

“But you can. I mean right now you can hear every thought?”

“Yes.”

“Bloody hell.”

“It’s not always a positive experience,” I said. “The chatter’s overwhelming. And when someone has a bad thought about you, it’s not pleasant. But I’ve learned to control the ability.”