Page 72 of Hungry Like the Wolf

Magda laughed, a bright sound in the lamp-lit office. “Maybe I am. But if you can’t be a bit of a menace after as long as I’ve been around, what’s the point? And besides, I didn’t do anything but coax things into motion at the right time.”

A flicker of anger sparked to life in Nadja’s chest. She was used to Magda’s knowing and meddling. She’d been watching it from the wings for five decades with the sort of harried amusement possessed by someone watching karaoke done badly. Everything had always worked out in the end. But she’d never been on the stage before, never had her fate directed by Magda’s hand before now. It wasn’t as amusing to be at the center because everything had most certainly not worked out this time.

“You should have told him.”

Magda nodded, relaxing back in her chair. “Maybe I should have. But I think that would have scared him.”

“Scared him worse than losing control of his body? Than thinking he was dying? Than me kidnapping him?” Nadja shouted. “Be serious, Magda!”

Magda pursed her lips but didn’t defend herself.

“If you didn’t think he would handle the news well, you at least should have told me,” Nadja said, collapsing back in the chair and feeling as if her ribcage were splintering.

The silence lingered between them, broken only when Walter began to snore. Magda took a long, slow sip from her own mug, her eyes never leaving Nadja’s.

“So you’re miserable.”

“Of course I am.”

“You love him,” Magda said. It wasn’t a question.

Nadja felt as if her throat was closing up, swallowing felt impossible.

“Yeah,” she said, reaching for the tea again.

“And he loves you,” she said.

“I don’t know,” Nadja answered, the sob breaking free from her throat.

“He loves you.”

“It’s not that simple,” Nadja protested.

“It’s not that complicated either.”

“I’m not his fated mate,” Nadja said miserably.

“Oh,” Magda said. Oh. The sound someone might make when learning that the menu board was wrong at the sandwich shop and that the special wasn’t turkey and Swiss but turkey and cheddar. Oh.

Oh.

Nadja felt the anger rising like a storm surge now, far from the flicker it had been, rushing up from her guts in a terrifying wave before bursting through her mouth. “He would have known. He would have known that I was his fated mate and he didn’t. So I must not be. Okay? I’m not his fated mate and I couldn’t stay there, building a life with him, giving up my whole life here, only for him to meet this magical one and leave me in the dust! I couldn’t do it!”

Magda nodded, her gaze turned down somewhat, as if she were pondering. But for some reason, this made Najda even more angry. She shot to her feet, staring down at the old woman. Nadja pointed her finger.

“You should have told him. You should have told him what he was. There are other packs. Someone would have taken him in. And then I never would have met him. I never would have told an entire wolf pack that I was his fucking mate to save him, for fuck’s sake. I would never have gotten to know him or fed from him or?—”

Fallen in love with him.

It was right there on the tip of her tongue, dangling from the precipice, but she couldn’t say it again.

“My whole life has been pain and wanting. Hunger. Do you know what hunger does to a person, Magda? It makes them desperate. And I had a system. I’d finally figured out how to feed without wanting to die. It wasn’t much, but it was enough. But then I had to meet him and he had to be so wonderful and he had to feed me and now I know what it’s like to be full. I know what it’s like to be satisfied and now I’ll never be satisfied again!”

She was screaming, her anger its own character in the scene, visceral and raw and agonizing.

“You ruined my life, Magda Nutter! I was just fine before you sent him here. And now I’ll never be fine again.”

Her breath was heaving in and out of her chest, her ribs aching from the restrained sobs and how wide her lungs were expanding as she gasped for air, for calm, for anything to make it hurt less.