Page 49 of Hungry Like the Wolf

“It’s enough,” she said, kissing his tattooed neck, not wanting to push. Never wanting to push him for more than he wanted to give.

She felt out of her depth. When she’d hooked up with strangers out of necessity in the days before phone sex work, the encounters had always been quick and clumsy. A means to an end. When she’d had sex with JJ, he’d been quietly in control. She’d been able to turn her brain off and just be taken care of. But it seemed that Robbie was letting her lead, something she had no clue how to do.

“Okay,” he said, squeezing her thigh. He closed his eyes and dropped his head back against the window, panting.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, her stomach falling. If he wanted to be done, she would climb off of him and they would never speak of this again. She’d never push him. If he?—

“I’m trying to get myself under control,” he said, gripping her thigh now.

“What do you mean?”

He opened his eyes, the irises the color of whiskey on the rocks, bright and sharp and alive. Eyes that saw too much of her, more than anyone ever had.

Nobody asked the therapist how they were doing beyond the pleasantries at the beginning of a session. Nobody wondered how they were doing at the end. Unless you had family or close friends—which, except for Magda, she didn’t—nobody really wondered about you at all.

But Robbie did. He worried if she ate, always bringing her meals and leaving them in the fridge with little Post-it notes telling her what was in the container or foil. He worried if she slept, if she slept too much. If she was lying about any of the above. How the fuck did he always know when she was lying? It was like he had a direct line to her brain.

“I meant it when I said that I have never wanted anyone as much as I want you. I think about you all the time. I can’t stop. And if this is enough, if this is all you need, I’m not gonna push you. I’m gonna respect every boundary you’ve got, Doc. I just need a minute to calm down, or I’m gonna come in my jeans. Then we can go back.”

She bit her lips between her teeth, stifling a smile. Oh.

“I said it was enough, Robbie.”

“I know. I know. I’m trying, Doc. Just give me a minute.”

Nadja slid her hand against the sharp edge of his jaw, tilting his face up to look at her. “I said it was enough,” she repeated. “I never said it was all I wanted.”

His eyebrows raised comically high, causing him to look a bit like a surprised owl. She grinned.

“Robbie?”

He swallowed audibly. “Yeah, Nadj?”

“Will you take your pants off?”

He was clumsy as his hands flew to the waistband of his jeans, digging his heels into the seat, lifting her bodily in the air atop him. She banged her head on the ceiling as he shoved the offending garment over his ass. He dropped back to the seat, his pants around his thighs now. She found herself grinding experimentally over his groin, feeling the hardness of his erection through the thick cotton of her pants and the thin cotton of his boxer briefs. He groaned, slamming his head back against the window.

“Fuck. Fuck!” Robbie said, gripping the back of his head with both hands, whether from pain or restraint she didn’t know.

But she didn’t want Robbie restrained. She wanted him wild. For the first time in her eternity of existence, she wanted this for purposes beyond feeding herself. Sex had been essential to her survival since the beginning. It had been perfunctory. Basic. Uncomplicated. Except that it was wildly complicated, or so she’d always found it. And while she’d enjoyed herself a few times, while JJ had made certain that she had, she’d never felt this untethered, like the line holding her to the craft had been severed and she was now drifting away into deep space. Foreign territory. New and terrifying and thrilling all the same.

It felt so simple now. He wanted her. She wanted him. Not just to feed from him, though he was delicious. She wanted him. She wanted him more than she had ever wanted anyone, in thousands of years of anyones. And he said he wanted her more than he’d ever wanted anyone in… well, significantly less time than that, but everything in life was relative, wasn’t it?

Nadja felt wild inside. Animal, in a way she never had. And beneath her was this man, this man who was very soon to become something else entirely. An animal. Wild, too.

So she ground her hips forwards and down again. Hard.

His hands flew to her ass, squeezing it in a rough, punishing grip. Let him leave bruises. She was past caring.

“I want to touch you,” he panted, using his hold on her hips to set her pace, moving her pelvis forward and backward over his cock in a slow grind that made her toes tingle. “Please, can I touch you?”

“Yes,” she whimpered, falling forward, bracing her hands on the doorframe.

He was lightning fast delving his hand into her sweatpants. The angle was awkward, and the elastic waistband pressed the heel of his hand tight against her clitoris. She moaned as his fingers penetrated her, hooking back and rubbing against her G-spot, something she’d known existed theoretically even if she’d never had any practical knowledge of it.

“Oh my gods, Robbie,” she keened.

She’d never felt anything like it. JJ had always made sure she climaxed. He’d been clinical and precise, which was what she had needed. This thing with Robbie was neither of those things. It was messy and uncoordinated and she was mere seconds away from a catastrophic detonation.