Page 89 of Hold Fast

She laughed.

“What is so funny?”

“You cannae be serious. You want to confine me to this room for another few weeks? Ewan, dinnae be ridiculous.”

“I am nae being ridiculous,” he said through his teeth. “I am trying to keep you safe. You could have been seriously injured.”

“I fellin this room.”

“Aye! And imagine if you’d fallen outside of it! You could have fallen down the stairs and broken your neck. ’Tis settled. You will stay here where I can be assured you are safe.”

White hot fury coursed through Una’s body with a suddenness that left her breathless.

“Nay,” she said, her voice low and steady amidst the torrent of her feelings.

“Nay?”

“I willnae stay in this room until I deliver. And you cannae make me.”

“I can lock you in. I can instruct the guards to prevent you from leaving.”

“Lock me in? Like a prisoner?” The effort to keep her voice under control was exhausting. The last word was shrill as it left her mouth.

He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Nay,” he barked. “You are nae a prisoner. But by the saints, lass, have mercy on me. I cannae let anything happen to you!”

“By locking me in a room?” Una spat. “Just like Malcolm Cameron did?”

He glared at her. “You compare me to that man?” His tone was so quiet she had to strain to hear. Then he shouted, “I am nothing like him!”

She struggled to her feet, standing belly to belly with him. “He made me a prisoner, and that’s exactly what you aim to do. I’ve tolerated your daft restrictions and your men and brothers following me around like baby ducks because I ken that you’re terrified and you’re trying to control everything you can. But I willnae stand for this, Ewan MacDonald. I willnae stand for it!”

As they glared at each other, Una remembered the date. Their handfast would end tomorrow. And then what? He would want to marry her. He asked her early every day. And she knew that, if she said yes, he would cart her off to the nearest priest without a moment’s delay.

But didshewant to marryhim? Was it to be like this for the rest of their lives? Him keeping secrets, boiling in his own anxiety without sharing it with her? Restricting the lives and freedom of her and their children because the only way he could sleep at night was to carefully control their every move?

She couldn’t live like that. Shewouldn’t.

“Ewan,” she said, placing a palm against his heaving chest, trying to reason with him. “You must listen to me. I am fine. I am careful. And, except for this morning, I’ve never given you a single cause for worry. You can keep the baby ducks following me and I willnae say a word, but I’ll go mad if you keep me in here. ’Tis bad for both me and the babe to put me in that situation.”

“’Tis bad for both of you if you leave and fall,” he said mulishly.

“I am fine! We are fine! I can climb stairs and stitch wounds and walk the bailey and, heaven forbid, pet a horse just fine, Ewan! Nothing is going to happen to me! I am as healthy as ever!”

“Then why do you wince and groan and act so verra much in pain? Dinnae think I havenae noticed, Una!”

“Because I am in the final weeks of carrying a babe, you foolish man! It is hard on the body to carry one this large! But that doesnae mean there is something wrong with me! Certainly nothing that setting every man in the clan to guard me would solve.”

“You dinnae ken that,” he growled.

“Why willnae you listen to me?” Una’s patience, as thin as it had been, was gone, leaving her with only that molten anger. “I dinnae tell you how to make war or use a sword or govern a clan. And yet you seem hell-bent on telling me what I can and cannae do as an expecting woman.”

He opened his mouth to respond but she charged ahead. “I want nae part of this version of you, Ewan. You may want different things than Cameron did—he kept me trapped because he was jealous, and you would do it because you’re afraid—but I willnae stay here for you to make me a prisoner, no matter how much you believe it is for my own good. You ken nothing about my own good, and you dinnae trust me to know either. You may be doing the wrong thing for the right reason, but it is still wrong!”

She stepped away from him, and he followed, trying to close the distance, but she flung out her arm, stopping him in his tracks. “Nay,” she spat, tears falling from her eyes. “Dinnae follow me until you’re ready to pull your head out of your arse andlistento me.Talkto me. Nae order me about. I willnae hear that.”

As Una walked quickly down the hallway, she heard a frustrated roar. She knocked on Joan’s chamber. Her friend opened the door to her and ushered her inside. There, wrapped in Joan’s embrace, she wept in earnest.

CHAPTER38