Page 83 of Hold Fast

Una crawled beneath the thick covers, pulling them up to her nose. Ewan undressed and climbed in behind her, gathering her solid warmth against his chest. In her sleep, she grabbed his arm and wrapped it around her, bringing his hand to her abdomen. Her belly was normally soft, but beneath his hand, beneath the usual softness, it felt hard.

He’d never noticed before. Her belly had looked much the way one’s would after a large meal. But it wasn’t that, was it? It was the baby.Hisbaby, making her body change and exhausting her completely. He marveled at it, allowing himself, for the very first time, to imagine what it might be like to have bairns running around the keep, shrieking, chasing their uncles and harassing Fenella and Fiona into spoiling them rotten.

The crushing panic from earlier loomed close over his shoulder, like another person in the room. But he forced it back. He simply wouldn’t let anything happen to them. He’d kept his siblings safe all these years. He would keep Una safe. He would keep their bairns safe. No matter what it took. No matter the cost.

That settled in his mind, he held Una closer and could almost forget the panic of earlier. Almost.

CHAPTER34

Aweek later, Ewan was in the bailey, watching Angus spar with Rabbie. As Angus circled Rabbie, lunging toward and away, he softly called out instructions and corrections. Angus was a patient teacher. He never belittled a person for their mistakes but encouraged them to try again and again until they got it right. He’d been working with Rabbie for a few years now. For all that Rabbie absolutely detested violence, he showed great promise with a sword.

“He looks good,” David said, coming to stand next to Ewan, the pair of them leaning against the wall of one of the outbuildings.

“Aye,” Ewan replied.

“He doesnae enjoy it, though,” David said. It wasn’t a question.

“I believe,” Ewan said after a long pause, “I believe he enjoys spending time with his brother. He enjoys the exertion. He enjoys learning and being good at something.”

“But…”

Ewan sighed. “But he cannae stomach the thought of another man on the other end of his sword.”

They were quiet. Ewan didn’t relish either the thought or the reality of a man at the other end of his own sword, but there had been many times when it had been necessary. A laird had to defend his clan, which could not always rely upon diplomacy. Ewan didn’t have much of a stomach for those bits of his job either.

“God willing, he’ll never have to experience that,” Ewan murmured. David nodded.

Just then, Rabbie maneuvered quickly, and the sword flew from Angus’s hand. Angus cursed.

“Aye, Rabbie! There you go!” David crowed.

Rabbie looked over his shoulder at David and smiled, his cheeks a splotchy red from exertion.

“I’d say that’s as good a place as any to stop for a rest,” Angus said, stooping to pick up his blunted sword and clapping Rabbie on the shoulder as they walked toward the water barrel next to Ewan.

“You’re getting good, my friend,” David said, ruffling Rabbie’s hair affectionately.

“He’s better than any of us were at his age. Including you,” Angus said, pointing the dripping wooden dipper at Ewan.

Rabbie blushed and looked at the ground, digging the toe of his boot into the hard dirt.

“You are right about that, Angus,” David agreed with a laugh.

“Nae offense, Ewan,” Angus said, his mouth against the dipper to drink.

“Why would I be offended? My pride isnae so fragile as that. Besides, I am proud to have such an excellent swordsman at my side, aye?” Ewan slapped Rabbie on the back, and Rabbie blushed an even deeper shade of red.

“I d-d-d-dinnae w-want to be g-g-good at it,” he said.

Ewan’s heart clenched sympathetically. “I ken you dinnae want to be good at it,” he said. “I ken you dinnae like the thought of ever needing to use it. But someday, you might be called upon to protect something or someone you hold dear.”

Rabbie looked miserable.

“Rabbie,” Ewan said, resting his hands on his younger brother’s shoulders, “should the time come, who better to protect Una? Or Cat? Or Fenella and Fiona and the others in the keep? Or my—” He broke off suddenly, swelling the thickness in his throat. “My children,” he finished quietly.

Rabbie lifted his head and looked at Ewan, their green eyes so similar.

“Would you protect them?”