Page 19 of Soft Flannel Hank

He nodded.

“You felt hurt this morning because you liked Esther. She acted like she liked you too. It hurt your feelings that she would just leave without saying anything after you shared a connection like that.”

“Like I said, I probably just read it wrong.”

“Has something like this happened before?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“Can’t? Or won’t?”

“Yes.”

Nadja sighed. “Fair enough, Hank. That’s valid too.” She paused and took another sip of her coffee. “I’m going to ask you some questions, and I want you to answer with ‘almost always,’ ‘sometimes,’ or ‘almost never.’ Okay?”

That seemed easy enough.

“Hank, do your feelings get easily hurt?”

“Sometimes.”

The answer was quick, easily slipping off of his tongue. He mentally kicked himself.

“Do you find yourself getting upset when people offer you criticism? Even constructive criticism meant to be helpful?”

The answer to that question was complicated. Marnie’s “helping” had always upset him. It had lived in his brain and played on repeat, reinforcing all of his fears that he didn’t deserve her, that he could never deserve her no matter what he did.

Hank swallowed. Nadja waited.

“Sometimes.”

“Do you get angry at yourself for making mistakes? Even if they are small?”

Always.

“Sometimes.”

But Nadja was too sharp for him. “Sometimes?”

“Fine,” he growled. “Almost always.”

“Do you find yourself going along with your group of peers, even if you don’t agree with them?”

She was getting far too close to the wounds with these questions. He wasn’t ready to talk about them, no matter how much he wanted those gaping sores in his life to be “fixed.”But he could answer this honestly.

“Not anymore.”

“Do you often find yourself saying bad things about yourself? Being unduly harsh on yourself?”

“I don’t want you to think I’m some pathetic loser. I mean, I am. But right now I can pretend you don’t know it for sure, even if you suspect it.”

“Almost always,” he answered, still staring up at the ceiling with his head back.

Nadja nodded. “Do you feel uncomfortable when people compliment you? Do you have a hard time accepting those compliments?”