Page 74 of All For You

“Yes, that’s why I was immediately suspicious of your sister. But at the time, my biggest concern was for my brother and his history with women, how he so easily fell in love without ever wanting to know someone’s character. Thinking back on Jane’s interactions that weekend, knowing the good she’s done at her school and how many years she’s worked on that program of hers, I can tell she’s genuine.”

“She’s genuine. And she’s genuinely shy and retiring.”

“I see that now, and I am so sorry for the way I treated her and your family.”

She clutched at her heart. “That hurt. My family is important to me. My ex was always scathing about my parents, and I know now that’s not something I want to put up with again.”

I exhaled on a slow nod. “I think, too, I was jealous of your relationship with your mother. You’re close, I can see that, and I never had that with my mother.”

“Yes, I can understand that. I’m sorry you weren’t close.”

I didn’t know why sharing that strained, stilted relationship with Lizzy eased my soul a little. “Thank you. I also see how different your sister is from Sophia, and that was very much my mistake.”

She nodded and bit her lip. “I’d like to hear more about your past, if it’s not too painful for you?”

Reliving that time was painful, but I now welcomed the hurt because I needed this to be out and not between us. “It took some years to figure out what Sophia was, since that shy thing firstly intrigued and challenged me. I see now it was more aloofness, a kind of act that she’d thought she needed to put on for me—to be the right person for me. I thought she wanted me, but she wanted all this.” He swept his hand around the grounds and castle. “The irony was, I thought of Pemberley as a burden, an obligation. I don’t anymore. Amid all the work, the people and the buildings and the grounds give me joy most days, but back then, I felt ill knowing the prestige of owning this estate was what Sophia wanted of me, what she was after.”

“What happened?” She moved closer, and compassion shone in her eyes. “When did you realize this?”

“That’s how oblivious I was. Ididn’trealize. The truth had to be shoved in my face, and what was supposed to be the best day of my life became the worst when I turned up to the chapel to be informed by one of my friends that my bride-to-be wasn’t going to show up.”

I pointed to a little church spire poking up through the trees, and I could see my hand was shaking.

She gasped, and her eyes went wide, horrified. “On your wedding day?”

Her reaction mirrored mine. This was as awful as it had felt. My heart thrashed wildly around my chest as I tensed. Maybe, as I moved through this memory, the event would make me sound weak, unwantable by Lizzy. Yet somehow, I knew I had to tell her.

“Funnily enough, my best man, Sebastian, was late to pick me up for the short walk to the chapel, and I had to walk over by myself. I strode in, still not suspicious, mind you, and what doyou know—Sophia wasn’t waiting for me at the altar. Everyone else was there and seated. Sophia and Seb then texted five of our friends that they’d fallen hopelessly in love and were headed to the Maldives to start their new life together with a beach break. I suppose the happy couple wanted to be far enough away they wouldn’t have to look me in the eye.”

I glanced at her to see her reaction. A sharp gasp tore from her, her face drawn and white in shock. Based on her reaction, I’d hedge that she was horrified by my story and felt terrible for me. But what I wanted to know was, did she forgive me for how I’d treated her sister, for how dismissive I had been in the heat of the moment?

CHAPTER 32

Lizzy

My heart broke for Darcy. Splintered, like his trust in people. God, what he’d been through. He still seemed tortured as he’d recounted that scene, his body upright but stiff, traumatized by pain.

And I sensed the words were new for him, as if he hadn’t talked like this to many people…if any? Maybe his brother? Maybe not even his brother, because Darcy clearly held himself out as the eldest, the strong one. His apology for what he’d done to Jane had been heartfelt and genuine, and I wanted to fully forgive him. What he’d done was painful, but now I could understand his actions better.

Part of me wanted to fold him in my arms and take away some of his pain. But I sensed he had more to say.

Instead, I touched his shoulder. “That sounded terrible. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

“It was humiliating.” His eyes were glassy in the dusk.

That he was being so honest made my heart throb until I could barely take how much I felt for him.

I took his hand. “Did you have other friends to turn to? Family?”

“Afterward, my so-called friends sided with them. Beforehand too, because some of them suspected the affair and didn’t warn me. Seb was much more fun than me. Afterward, Wills wanted to be there for me, but I clammed up. My mother was furious and thought it was some character defect on my part.”

“Oh God, that’s awful.”

“That pretty much summed her up, I’m afraid. Summed up both of my parents. The family name and reputation came first. Feelings were second.”

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that.” I paused cautiously. “Are your parents still with us?”

“No, they’re both gone now.” His face crashed into a mess of emotions I couldn’t quite untangle.