Page 67 of All For You

“You and Tim are the real deal.” I nudged her.

She sighed. “I love doing this job and I love my TV work, but I miss him so much when I’m away.”

“Not as much as he misses you. I bet he’s wandering around the house, aimless and hopeless without you. Literally standing in the middle of the kitchen staring into space. Or if he’s out, he’s being intolerable. I’ve been around him when you’re filming, and he’s a bear. Or he’s constantly checking his phone for a text from you. It’s truly maddening. He’s terrible company when you’re away.”

She chuckled.

Tim was lost for her, the real her—who was goofy and fun beneath her pearls and modest floral outfits, and her love for quiet and home—in contrast to Tim, who was such an extrovert.

I wanted to find someone like that, who loved me for exactly who I was, in all my ripped jeans and leaves-in-the-hair self, my ridiculous mother, and all. Without me changing myself or being embarrassed about being romantic and hopeful and speaking my mind and not being more sophisticated and smartly dressed. I had thought that might be Darcy, but it couldn’t be him after the way he’d broken up Wills and Jane and his reluctance to see he’d done anything wrong.

Tabitha shook herself and stood up. “I’d love to chat some more, but I have to make decisions for a couple of these rooms today, which will impact the colors and style for the whole house. Lizzy, would you like to wander around outside for a while until I’m finished? Then we can drive back to the B&B. The little town of Lambton is lovely. We’ll have dinner there.”

“That sounds wonderful. I’ll stroll around the grounds, maybe take a walk in the woods afterward.” I was excited to be alone and ponder story ideas. I loved my characters to be outside in the wild, where they had the opportunity to break free from the chaperoned confines of stuffy Regency drawing rooms.

“Take your time.”

I wanderedoutside into the grounds and peeked into the orangery, where the restaurant staff were cleaning up for the day.

Speaking to one of the chefs was someone with a shock of red hair. I watched him for a second. William. Oh God, no. Was Darcy here too?

William turned slightly and saw me. His bright blue eyes widened, and a smile flashed across his face, then his expression fell. Unlike Jane, he didn’t hide his feelings. His surprise at seeing me had been quickly followed by sadness. But manners were his strong suit, and he strode over to me without any delay.

God, another person who was going to tell Darcy I’d been here. I hadn’t thought this through.

“Lizzy, how wonderful to see you.” He flailed his arms slightly, like he wanted to hug me but knew he shouldn’t.

“This is awkward. I’m honestly passing through,” I said. “Your brother isn’t here too?”

“No. I’m passing through myself on the way to an event.”

My shoulders dropped with relief that Darcy wasn’t making an appearance.

“I’m sorry. I’d love to stop and show you around, but I have a car waiting for me,” William said.

I tried to smile, but I knew it must look forced.

He turned away but paused and faced me again. “Lizzy, please don’t blame Darcy for what happened. Ultimately, ending things with Jane was my own stupid decision. I’d come out of a terrible experience scarred. My brother was protecting me, but the decision was my responsibility. He cautioned me… You knowwhat his opinion is, but I’m the one who broke Jane’s heart. I’ve been burned before, and…I can’t trust myself anymore.”

A chauffeur appeared by his side.

“I’m sorry.” He gave me a strained smile. “I do have to go. It’s an event farther north.”

“B-but what about Jane?”

“I thought about calling her, talking some more. But it’s better if I leave her alone so she can get on with her life. I’m sorry. I must go.”

I paced up the slight hill to the forest, my brain scrambling with mixed emotions. Darcy thought he was protecting his brother and his brother had run scared, though I still thought it was because Darcy had unduly influenced him. But William was his own person, and he’d made this decision. William barely knew Jane and me, but he knew and trusted his brother.

If I’d thought Wills was not genuinely interested in Jane at the inn, would I have pointed that out and discouraged her interest rather than been excited about her enthusiasm?

To add to my confusion about Darcy, with every step, I realized anew how big and beautiful this place was, but also what a major business operation it was. I hadn’t even thought about this orangery or the magnitude of all the events they catered here.

A grudging new admiration trickled through me at the thought of Darcy running all this and his business in London, at how highly he was thought of by his staff and Tabitha, and how many families were supported by this estate. He wasn’t some rich bloke swanning around London, dining out and boozing it up on his inheritance and status. He was working hard to maintain his heritage and to see that it benefited others.

But Jane. Thinking well of him felt like I was betraying my lovely, sad sister.

I wasn’t here to waste time over what might have been with Darcy, though. I had to think about a story. Appease my agent and publisher and readers. Find my inspiration and write my three chapters.