Page 48 of The Lunatics

“Are they going to?”

He shook his head. “They’ve applied for several grants and easements that will eventually bring their total costs down, so we’re hopeful the project will move forward.”

“That sounds likea lot.”

“It is,” he said.

Why do you do it?I wanted to ask. Why did he care about human laws and regulations? Why was he trying to build another monster building? Why did he live here, surrounded by all this sensory overload? I didn’t think I would ever understand why the Kolbecks spent all their time and energy trying to raise an empire. Or lived in fancy apartments and houses with overly manicured woodlands that barely masked the sound of the surrounding city. Why they fought with the vampires and the witches for more human-infested territory when they could have been free instead.

I had to look away from him as the urge to screamWhat is the fucking point to all this, Michael?!became almost unbearable.

I’d been in the city a day and already knew I didn’t want to live here full time. I doubted anything could make mewantto live here full-time. Not even my belief in the Goddess was enough. This didn’t feel like Her testing me. This felt like torture.

Michael and I needed to start working on muting our bond. We needed to start testing the limits of how far apart we could get. And we needed to do it soon. Because I didn’t want this. I didn’t want to be part of his uncomfortable, borderline abusive family dynamic. I didn’t want to be shadowed by guard wolves every time I walked out a door. I missed the wilderness. I missed the smell of fresh air. The feel of sunshine on my skin. The familiarity of my own pack. The sounds of their paws pounding the forest floor around me as we raced beneath towering oaks and pines.

I couldn’t even howl here.

And who was to say the Goddess wanted me to stay in the city? That this was even Her plan? It could have been witches meddling with the bonding ceremony, like Michael said. But even if it was the Goddess, Her intention might be for me and Michael to fall into some sort of long-distance partnership that would somehow benefit both of our packs.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

I opted for honesty. “I don’t like it here.”

“You’re more than welcome to redecorate.”

“I meant here in the city. I don’t understand how you live here, and I don’t think that I would ever make this my permanent home. I know I said I should make a clean break and move here, but I didn’t realize it would be this bad. And I know it’s been all of a day, but I don’t see myself changing my mind on this.”

His expression blanked. He smothered his emotions. “I understand.”

Did he? Why hide his true feelings then? Was he angry? Upset that I’d so quickly gone back on my word? I took a deep breath through my nose to try and figure that out, but his scent was as evasive as his expression.

A buzz came from his jacket pocket. He reached in and pulled out his phone. “The scouts have withdrawn. Would you still like to go to dinner?”

I drained the rest of my wine and pushed away from the kitchen island. “Sure. I’ll try to be better company.”

He took my glass and set them both in the sink. “Please don’t feel the need to pretend on my behalf. I understand the difficulty of the situation. It would be incredibly unfair of me to ask you to permanently relocate here. We knew this was a short-term solution.” He came over and offered me his arm.

I looked at him. “You know I can walk unassisted, right?”

“I know,” he said. A smile threatened to tilt the corners of his lips. “This is an entirely selfish maneuver. I like the weight of your hand on me.”

An accompanying… warmth came over the bond, reinforcing his words, and his sudden openness caught me off guard. Especially so soon after he’d just masked his feelings.

I looped my arm through his, because if I was being honest, I liked the contact just as much as he did. “Why is it that touching like this is soothing, but when we touch skin to skin it has the exact opposite effect?”

“We haven’t touched in some time. Perhaps it’s changed?” He looked down at where my hand rested on the sleeve of his jacket, took a deep breath, and placed his fingers over mine.

A crackling heat suffused my hand and spread upward from our contact, racing toward my heart. It hit with the force of a charging bull, sending a burst of tingles shooting through my body. I shivered, my skin breaking out in goose bumps. It was similar toan adrenaline rush in that I became hyperaware of myself, every nerve ending on edge as I waited for a chance to expend this sudden influx of energy.

“Is this better than last time?” I asked. I couldn’t tell.

“Marginally,” he said, his voice clipped.

We kept the contact all the way to the elevator, until he was forced to release me to punch in the security code, scan his print, and then hit the button for the street level. Before I’d left the meeting earlier, I’d likewise been given a code and had my own fingerprint scanned. His tech person told me that I’d be able to use them by midnight.

“No guards?” I asked as we strode out into the downstairs hallway.

“We should have no need for a close detail. At night we keep sentries posted on every street corner. That number doubles when one of my family members is in town. They’ll have eyes on us at all times.” He glanced over at me, the dim hallway light making his cheekbones look like they were carved from marble. “You’re not the only one that makes for a good target.”