Page 16 of Tell It To The Waves

Baylee smiles at me, and I can see a bit of worry evaporate. And I hate that she had to worry about how I felt; I gave it up. She didn’t take it. This is how it was supposed to be.

“Here’s your pitcher, glasses, and I brought a pitcher of water, too.” The server sets it down and leaves us again.

Kai pours three glasses of beer, scooting one to each of us. “A toast,” he raises his glass, “to unexpected house renovations.”

We clink glasses, and I laugh way too loudly. And it feels so good. I don’t know when the last time I laughed like that was, but I cut it short. “Cheers,” I mumble, taking a big gulp, setting the glass down a little too hard. I don’t want to feel anything while being here.

“So, August, where have you been?” Kai asks me, and immediately Baylee’s head snaps to him, her bob whipping around.

“Shut up.” She grunts at him.

Kai purses his lips, “What? That’s the damn elephant in the room, right? So, let's talk about it and be done with it. Women like making things silently disappear; not talk about it, and it’ll go away. Well, not me. I want to know.” He brings his glass to his lips, chugging the liquid down, before refilling his glass, not looking at me. “And I think we deserve something.”

My spit lodges in my throat, making me cough. Clearing it, I say, “No, that’s okay.” I force a smile. “And you both deservea reason.” My finger runs down the glass, collecting the sweat beading on it, needing just a brief moment.

“I wasn’t in a good place after losing my mom. We all know that.” I look at each of them, making eye contact. “I was so deep in grief, I didn’t know which way was up or down. Everything changed by one thing. I changed by one thing. I tried, but I couldn’t force myself. Driftwood became a place that held a nightmare now. I was drifting away from Bohdi.”

Pausing, my hand slides across the table to Baylee’s, grabbing it. “And you. Maybe I just really wanted to be seen and not rushed, and you all didn’t make me feel that way; that’s just what my brain was telling me. Bohdi and I became distant. Because of me. He tried, and I didn’t. I was drowning. That night was the culmination of the past year. Maybe I wanted him to save me?” My eyebrows draw up because I don’t really know what I wanted then. I still don’t. Baylee squeezes my hand tighter. Telling them my truths feels weird, but they deserve to know, and soon, I’ll be gone anyway.

“I broke his heart on that beach, and I know that, but he did the same to mine when I went back to the bonfire and caught him making out with someone.” Kai’s face grimaces, but I keep going. “Why did I go into the ocean? I don’t know?” I shake my head. In this moment, it’s just us three in this restaurant. “But coming back out of it, I was forever changed. I couldn’t stay here any longer. And with Bohdi also came you two, and I couldn’t make anyone pick me, so leaving everything behind was the only option.” I nod while trying to keep my tears at bay. It all sounds so juvenile now. But then, it was the end of the world; the depression was so deep. “I hate that I missed everything, Baylee. And I’m so sorry. Me leaving you with Driftwood Bay wasn’t fair, and I’m sorry.”

Baylee has tears streaming down her cheeks, which are now turning red under the dim light hanging above the table. Sheopens her mouth but shuts it. Kai takes her other hand, rubbing the wedding ring. “I missed you. I miss you. I’ve needed you, August.” Her shoulders rise while her head drops.

I look to Kai. “I’m sorry.”

Kai smiles at me, his eyes roaming my face. “You’re forgiven.”

Hearing his words does something to me. I didn’t come here to be forgiven, but hearing that, a little piece of me heals. Biting the inside of my cheek, I give him a tight smile.

“Here we go.” Our deep conversation is thankfully interrupted by the arrival of our food. “Enjoy.”

The smell of the malt vinegar fries reaches my nose, making my mouth water. Baylee and I go to take a fry at the same time, laughing because we know we could eat our weight in them.

We three sit and eat, while Kai and I grab another pitcher of beer. Conversation is happening so easily and effortlessly that it doesn’t feel like eight years have passed.

“What’s your plan once the house is done?” Baylee asks me as she sets her water down. Her eyes showed she was truly interested.

Breathing in heavily before wiping off my hands, I say, “Getting the cottage sold is my first priority. Then, I’m going to let go of my apartment and find a small house where I’m living, which is only forty minutes out of the city.” I smile, but then let it drop, as well as the words I was fixing to say.

Bay’s blue eyes squint at me. “No, you don’t. Spill it.” Even after all these years, she still knows me.

Grinning at her, I say, “I’m going to open my own bakery. That was the one thing Dad wanted me to do, and I think I’m ready to.”

Kai moans from across the booth. “Please put the snickerdoodles on the menu. I dream about those damn cookies.”

My body is tingling from the three and a half glasses of beer I’ve had, laughing loudly. “I will. But first, I have to get this all settled and find somewhere to open shop.” Leaning back on the seat, I watch Kai’s face change as he reads something from his phone. Baylee notices my eyes and looks at Kai, leaning over to see what he’s seeing. She sits up straighter and looks at me.

Ignoring it, not my business, I drink the rest of my beer before pouring another glass, leaving the rest for Kai, reaching for one more fry, which is now cold, but not caring.

My eyes scan between Kai and Bay; they’re having a silent conversation before Kai speaks. “Would you like us to drive you back to the cottage? I think we’re going to head out.”

The abrupt leaving confuses me. “Umm.”

I look at Bay, who’s starting to stand, “Shit.” She mumbles, and I watch her eyes close before looking at me, “Sorry, August.”

My forehead rises, fixing to ask her what, but I didn’t need to; I see him. Bohdi.

“He was supposed to be out of town. I’m sorry.” Kai does look sorry.