Page 11 of Tell It To The Waves

His head snaps up to look at me. “You’re lying,” he says with so much confidence.

For him to let me go, I have to hurt him. “I haven’t loved you in a long time, Bohdi. You were just here, and so was I. It felt like I was supposed to do this. But I’ve realized I don’t. I don’t have to do anything; I don’t want to do.” I lie through my teeth.

He scowls, concentrating on my face, the words slowly entering his brain and being planted. “I would have let you take me down to the depths of despair with you, August. I would have let you keep hurting me and still loved you in all the ways you needed. I still would.” He turns away from me, walking back the way he came, his shoulders falling.

I watched him until he was just a ghost in the moonlight. My heart hurt; my soul crushed.

Falling to the sand, I sat there for I don’t know how long, talking to the waves, telling them the truth. That all I've ever wanted was Bohdi, but I’m not sure if I’ll ever get the August back I was before I lost my mom. And that truly scares me. The way death can change absolutely everything. Everything it touches is never the same; we just learn to remodel our life with it. I cry until I can’t cry anymore, picking myself up and forcing my legs to take me back from where I came. The wind has gotten stronger, blowing my hair all over.

The fire is still hanging on for dear life, but barely lit. Once I get closer, I don’t see as many people as there were when I left.

I veer to the water, letting the waves lick my ankles, trying to stay out of sight so I could walk back to August Cove and be undetected.

My eyes scan the people, and I can’t see Bay or Kai, but I stop when I recognize the back tattoo. I stand there in a daze as I take in Bohdi making out with someone pinned up against his jeep.

I try to breathe, but it doesn’t feel like I’m getting any oxygen as I stand there and watch him as he turns around, spinning her with him. I can’t see her face because her back is now to me. His hands are all over her body before he lifts her up, and she wraps her legs around his waist. My feet feel like they're in quicksand; I can’t move. I’m stuck as tears run down my cheeks, falling into the ocean, getting swept away into the sea.

A car turns on, its light highlighting me, and that’s when someone calls his name. In seconds, he has her on her feet and is walking fast to me, but I keep backing up. “I don’t want you near me,” I cry out to him as I stand up.

“August.” His words are slurred and he trips. But that doesn’t stop him from making his way to me. I don’t want him anywhere near me.

I keep walking backward until I’m waist deep in the water.

“Get out of the water, August,” he yells, but I keep moving further away from him.

We lock eyes as I’m using my tippytoes to stay above water. My body becomes a buoy. But I think we both feel it at that moment: something isn’t right.

Faster than I can blink. I’m pulled under a wave, getting sucked into an undertow. I can’t find up or down. My head bobs out, and I suck in a quick breath, and taken back under. I’m panicking; nothing I’ve been taught comes to me, but survival to get out of this. But my body is slammed against the oceanfloor and yanked farther out. Breaking the surface, I scream, but it’s cut off when I suck in water, choking and sucked back under.

I can’t do this to my dad again. The ocean can’t take his other girl. Is all I can think of when I feel fingers around my ankle pulling. I stopped thrashing immediately, but everything turned black.

I hear words, but they're muffled. My body coughs up the water I swallowed, and then I’m puking.

“August. August, please.” The voice is pleading, and when I open my eyes, Bohdi is leaning over me, his hand on top of my chest, his finger lightly clasped around my nose. I stare at him, trying to remember what happened, then it floods back in. Me lying, him with someone else, and me getting sucked into the ocean.

My hands come up in defense, pushing him away from me. “Get away,” I cough out. I can’t catch a full breath.

There are a few people standing around us, gawking.

“Please, let me help you get back home.” He pleads, but I ignore him, stumbling to my feet, but I fall. My body feels like it’s jello; the panic and fight I put up have absolutely drained me.

“Go back to what you were doing, Bohdi.” I look around, wanting to get a glance at whoever it was, but I can’t; my eyes burn and everyone blurs together.

I watch his face morph. “It doesn’t feel good to be hurt, does it, August?” he spits at me and my heart breaks.

Standing on my shaky legs, I have sand stuck all over my body. “Bye, Bohdi,” I whisper-cry, turning around, leaving him standing on the beach.

I use everything I have left, which isn’t much, and run to August Cove, collapsing on the back porch, scraping my knees on the way down.

“Goose!” The back door slides open; my father runs to me. “What’s wrong? What happened?” His hands roam over my body, looking for any damage, but he can’t see what’s broken.

I cried harder than I ever cried before; I didn’t cry this hard when I lost my mom.

“Oh, Goose.” My dad hooks his arm behind me, brings me to him as he sits on the wooden porch, rocking me as if I’m a baby again.

“Shhh,” he repeats over and over again.

Between wrecking sobs, I say, “I hurt him, Dad. And he hurt me.” I don’t have to go into detail; he knows. He doesn’t speak, just rocks me.