Page 182 of The Exit Strategy

“You run faster than any of them.”

“Good thing too. One more thing. You have to tell them that you’re leaving. We’re not running away anymore, okay?”

The promise I made Cole pushes against my ribs, so I agree. “While I…record this, can you gather the guys?”

Fen purses his lips but does as I ask.

I’ve read the script that Fen and I created five times. I know it’ll take approximately three minutes to read, so I head to my bathroom to wash my face and do my hair the way I do every other day of my life—haphazardly, like an afterthought.

Then I place my phone in the tripod that Fen left, open the video app, and press record.

I deliver it in one take.

It’s not polished or perfect. My voice cracks in places I wish it hadn’t, but I own it when it happens. I stare directly into the camera, even when my eyes fill with too much moisture. There’s nothing practiced here.

It’s raw. Painful. Honest.

When I’ve finished, I watch it back, only once. It’s not pretty. It’s not viral-ready. But it’s me.

It’s my story.

My truth.

Then I send it to Fenway, knowing he’s going to splice it with proof of my timeline of events, then I turn my phone off completely and walk back to my bedroom in the dark.

Cole’s office light filters in through my window, not brightly but a beacon just the same.

My hand hovers over my light switch. If Cole’s light is a beacon, mine will send a message, and I don’t know what I want it to say yet.

I leave it off, but I do plug in a nightlight. The LED is meant for a child but illuminates the space just enough to say I’m lost, but I’ll find my way.

It’s as much as I’m able to give for now.

Then I pack a small bag and walk outside.

32

BROKEN HEARTS

COLE

I standon my front porch, numb, while my heart bleeds at Junie’s feet.

I was too late to fix it.

She asked Fen to gather us all here. Hudson and Nolan flank me, probably to hold me back if I go after her.

Because I will. And everyone here knows it.

“I’m sorry,” she says. She’s speaking to us all, but her focus is entirely on me.

“Where will you go?” Nolan asks. His words are gruff when he’s upset.

“I just…” Her piercing blue eyes cut straight to the core of me. “I have some ghosts to chase before I can be whole. Before…I can make any decisions. About anything.”

“Are you coming back?” My words are so soft I’m not sure she can hear me from twenty feet away.

“I—” She breaks eye contact for the first time since she came to stand in front of me five minutes ago. “This is my family. I don’t know how I’ll fit yet, but I’ll come back. I just…can’t make any promises about who I’ll be when I do.”