Page 84 of A Thousand Second Chances

I groan and drag a pillow over my head. “Leave me alone, Quinn.”

“No. Not until you tell me what’s going on.”

I scrunch my body up tighter, curling in on myself. “I already told you there’s nothing you can do.”

“Try me.”

She says it so forcibly that I almost laugh again. The laughter turns to a half-choked sob.

Oh, what the hell?

“Fine. I’m stuck in a craptastic time loop, doomed to repeat this same stupid Saturday forever. I’ve already been here for over a month, with no signs it’ll ever stop. And it wasn’t so bad at first because Percy was trapped in it with me, and at least we had each other. But now that’s all fucked, and I don’t know if it’s his fault, mine, or both, but it doesn’t matter because he doesn’t want me. Not as much as I want him. So…yeah. Life pretty much sucks right now.”

Another beat of silence. My curiosity eventually gets the better of me, and I roll over, cracking open an eye to take in Quinn’s reaction. She’s studying me with a considering expression, her brow scrunched in thought. The look is uncharacteristic on her. Usually, she’s the sort to act first and then dismiss any regrets later.

“Still think you can help?” I scoff.

Her eyes meet mine. “You mustreallylike this Percy guy.”

I blink, completely taken aback. “Huh?”

She taps a finger against her chin, continuing as if she hadn’t heard me. “That’s the guy from the ferry, right? The one you said you had a history with. Which I’m assuming means more than just friends. Things must’ve been pretty serious to throw you for alooplike this.” She grins.

I feel like I’m still struggling to catch up. How did this conversation shift from time loops to Percy and me? “We datedfor a couple of years,” I mutter eventually. “I came out for him, but he chickened out, and we broke up. This is the first time I’ve seen him since. Well, that original Saturday was, anyway. I’ve seen him plenty over the various redos.”

Quinn grins at me and waggles her eyebrows. “You’ve seenplenty, huh?”

I blush, only then realizing how that sounds. Still, I don’t bother protesting like I usually would. Why waste the energy when nothing matters anyway?

“How do you know he doesn’t want you?” she asks.

I love you, Chris. Honestly, I’m not sure I ever stopped.

I grit my teeth. “Because he pretty much told me! No matter how close we get, he won’t let himself envision a future together. This is all temporary for him—nothing but a fun fling. A distraction until we can return to reality.”

“But not for you?” Again, I don’t respond, and she sighs, settling down on the bed beside me. “I’m sorry, Chris. That sucks.” Her eyes light up. “Ooo, I know! Maybe there’s something you could do to win him over, like a big romantic gesture! You know, show him how much you care.”

“No!” I bark, harsher than I’d intended. Thankfully, Quinn doesn’t seem to mind. I take a deep breath. “No,” I repeat more calmly. “No romantic gestures. I’ve put myself out there enough already. I won’t keep throwing myself at a guy who doesn’t take me seriously.”

She frowns. “Fine, scratch that idea. Then, how about—”

I stand abruptly, grabbing a pair of track pants and my running shoes. “I’m going for a run. I need to clear my head.”

She hesitates before giving a firm nod. “Good idea. I’ll tell Oshkoff to leave without us.” She holds up a hand when I try to argue. “Go for your run. I’ll be here when you get back if you want to talk more. Or watch some crappy shows on my laptop.”

A rush of gratitude swells through me, along with guilt for how horrible I’ve been to Quinn these last few iterations. She deserves so much better than me as a friend.

Not trusting myself to speak, I nod and hope she can interpret the emotions plastered over my face. She leaves me in private to change, and a couple of minutes later, I’m heading downstairs. I expect the group to be gone already, but they must have been delayed this morning—maybe because Oshkoff had been waiting for me—since they’re still gathered outside.

Well, notallof them. I’m about to turn and sneak out the back when I spy a familiar mop of brown hair exiting the cafe. I’ve been avoiding this spot, especially in the mornings, for exactly this reason. Percy looks good—certainly better than I feel. I swallow the sudden lump lodged in my throat. I’m no sadist who wants him to suffer, but it hurts seeing how untorn up he appears compared to me.

He even manages to give me a watery smile. “Hi, Chris.” He opens and closes his mouth like there’s more he wants to say, but he can’t quite figure out how.

This is the closest we’ve been since our last supper. I feel his nearness like a physical force against my skin—a warmth radiating over me, dragging me toward him.

I’ve got to get out of here!

Shoving past him, I ignore whatever he’s trying to say and leave him without a word, all the while pretending like I’mnotabout to break down sobbing over everything I’ve lost.