Page 75 of See You in Your Dreams

“Nothing I do will ever be good enough. I drove Dad away and Tommy hates me. It’s only a matter of time before you and Mom and Patrick realize what a burden I am, too.”

“You arenota burden.” I grip him firmly by the shoulders, imploring him to hear me. “You’re more than good enough just the way you are.” My insides squirm as I recall the oh-so-similar words my own demons had hurled at me. “We both are.”

“Then, why are you going to leave me, too?”

The whispered question catches me off-guard, wrenching at my gut. I open my mouth to deny it, but wasn’t that precisely what I’d implied when I told him I couldn’t promise to stay? For as long as I can remember, I’ve dreamed of getting away—of being on my own. But staring at Dylan now, I realize that at some point, my dream had changed.

“No matter what happens next or where we end up, I don’t intend to let you go that easily. I’ll be by your side as long as you want me there. I promise.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Dylan nods, his arms winding around my back. We stand there silently for a time, holding eachother close in the middle of Dylan’s imaginary kitchen. The room fades until we’re left floating amid a familiar rainbow sea.

“Thank you,” Dylan says quietly, not meeting my eyes. “For snapping me out of it back there. I…I’m not sure what came over me.”

I grimace as familiar self-loathing grips me. “It’s not your fault you were having a bad day. I’m the one whose fucked-up powers transformed it into a literal nightmare for both of us. This is exactly why I’ve avoided getting too close to anyone for all these years.”

“Hey, no.” Dylan grabs my hand, linking our fingers. “No more of that. We’re in this together now, whether you like it or not, remember? I have no intention of running away, and I won’t let you do so on my behalf.”

I take a deep breath, his comforting presence helping to halt my usual spiral of despair. “You’re right, I know you’re right. But old habits die hard. That way of thinking is what got me into my own mess before I found you.”

His fingers gently stroke mine amid the dancing sea of dreams. “What happened to you? Was it as ridiculous as my self-imposed chore-pocalypse?”

Swallowing, I haltingly explain my experiences in our shared dream. As I talk, his face pales, his smile fading to a look of pure horror.

“God Ash, that’s awful,” he says once I’ve finished, wrapping me in a tight embrace. A whirlpool of latent possibility spirals around us that I quickly calm. “And I thoughtmyexperience was traumatic. Jesus.”

“It’s not a damn competition,” I mutter, flushing slightly. “If anything, tonight’s proof that we’re both fucked up in our own ways.”

He snorts. “I won’t fight you on that one.” He’s quiet for a moment, his voice pensive when he eventually speaks. “I meantwhat I said before, about no more running. I think it’s time we both confront what haunts us so we can move forward. Together.”

“Oh, yeah?” I shake my head, the colorful lights flickering across my face. “And how exactly do you intend we do that—more dream therapy? Because I’m not sure I can handle it right now.”

“Nope. Our problems are in the real world, so that’s where we need to face them.” He presses his lips together and sets his jaw, his expression firming. “I’ve put off talking to my mom about my future long enough. Tommy, too. Tomorrow, I’m going to speak to them about everything I’ve been going through—lay it all out in the open.”

I nod slowly. “Sounds fair enough.” My trepidation spikes when he meets my eyes, a determined sheen in them. “And what about me? I can’t exactly confront my mom or Greta, and I’m not about to hunt down Harvey.”

“I think it’s past time you talk to your aunt,” he replies. “It’s clear you blame yourself for what happened with your mom, but you were only a kid. Maybe it’ll help to get the perspective of an adult who was actually there. At the very least, it might help clear the air between the two of you so you’re not constantly walking on eggshells around each other.”

My gut squirms at the thought of opening up to my aunt. Still, I force a nod. Dylan’s right—this shit I’ve kept bottled up all these years will keep bursting out unless I lay it to rest for good. Talking with Aunt Claudette seems as good a way as any to start doing that.

“I guess it’s settled then,” Dylan proclaims with a shaky grin, his own nerves plain on his face. “Tomorrow, we both face our fears.”

“And what about tonight?” I gesture to the proto-dream stretching around us. “Since we’re already here, we could try visiting somewhere else.”

He shakes his head. “Pass. I think I’ve had enough dreaming for one night.”

I bite my lip, studying Dylan as sudden heat ripples through me. “Well, my auntdidsay she’d be gone all night. Perhaps we could wake up and find some other way to pass the time?”

Dylan seizes my lips in a fierce kiss, our tongues clashing as our hands grope for purchase wherever they can find it. I’m not surprised when the dream shifts around us, leaving us both stripped to our underwear. Dylan rolls his hips, rubbing against me and eliciting a moan.

“I think that could be arranged,” he murmurs, nipping my earlobe.

Never in my life have I been so eager to return to the waking world.

twenty-six

Dylan

I leave early thenext morning before Ash’s aunt returns. A half-asleep Ash sleepily murmurs that I should stay, but I know I can’t. Not if I want to follow through on the promise we made each other last night in our dreams.