Page 50 of See You in Your Dreams

Dylan hesitates, his hand stilling on Onyx until she impatiently nudges him back into action. He stares down at the small black cat instead of meeting my eyes. “I haven’t worked on any.”

A frown tugs at my lips. “But I thought you really wanted to get into a good pre-vet program. A lot of places weigh admissions heavily toward early applications. You really shouldn’t wait too long to start.” A flash of guilt roils my gut. “If this is because we’ve been spending so much time together—”

“No!” He looks up sharply at me, his eyes unreadable. “It’s not that. It’s…” I see the muscles in his jaw tighten as he forces the words out. “I don’t think I’m going to go to college next year.”

“What?” I stare at him in disbelief. “Why the hell not? You’re way too smart and hardworking not to get in. Any university would be lucky to have you.”

A faint blush colors his cheeks. “It’s not my grades or extracurriculars I’m worried about. College is just so expensive.Even if I’m lucky enough to get a scholarship, it almost certainly won’t be a full ride.”

I think back over other discussions we’ve had, my frown deepening. “Don’t you have a college fund?”

“Well…yeah.” He clutches at Onyx as if to steady himself, scritching her head behind her ears. “But Mom needs that money right now more than I do. I can’t just run off and leave her and Patrick high and dry like that. If I delay college for a couple years, I can find work somewhere nearby and help with things until Patrick’s older. It’s the right thing to do.”

“What about your dad and child support? Can’thehelp out?”

Dylan barks a humorless laugh. “I guess his dreams of striking it big never quite panned out. You can’t send money you don’t have.”

I’m quiet for a moment while I sort through my thoughts. “Maybe this is just the selfishness in me speaking, but you shouldn’t sacrifice your future without considering all the possibilities first. Helping others is all well and good, but sometimes, you have to do what’s best foryou. You can’t be afraid to move forward.”

Onyx chooses that moment to hop down from Dylan’s lap, padding across the room to bat at a pencil that had fallen on the floor. Dylan shifts to face me, raising an eyebrow. “I could say the same thing about you.”

The instant I realize what he means, my expression shifts to a scowl. “We’ve been over this, and we agreed that using my power is too dangerous.”

“No,youagreed it was too dangerous. I still think you should learn more about it.” He glances at my desk and the manila folder that’s been resting on top of it the past couple weeks. “Did you ever read through that research I gave you?”

“Some,” I hedge, which is technically true. Ihadleafed through a few pages one night before giving up and settingit aside. What’s the point of understanding something I never intend to use?

Dylan sighs. He crosses his arms, regarding me. I wilt before his obvious disappointment. “I hate the idea of you taking sleeping pills every night for the rest of your life. No way is that healthy.”

Better than the alternative.I bite my tongue, shrugging. “I’ve been on them since I was thirteen, and they haven’t killed me yet.”

Dylan hisses in a breath. From his aghast look, that statement must not have been as comforting as I’d hoped. “You’ve been taking them forthatlong? Christ, Ash, you were just a kid!”

Something tightens in my gut as I think back to those first awful nights after Mom’s funeral when I’d gone to live with the Ellingtons. I’d wake up in a cold sweat, half-delirious with terror and screaming my head off. And though the Ellingtons had never admitted as much, I’m pretty sure from their pale faces and haunted eyes that I hadn’t been the only one in that house to suffer my nightmares.

“The Ellingtons got me the prescription not long after I moved in with them. Though looking back, I’m not sure if it was for my benefit or for theirs.”

Dylan’s expression hardens, a fury I’ve never seen in him before burning in his golden gaze. “They had no right to do that to you!”

I shrug, chuckling darkly. “It was the best gift they ever gave me.”

“No. It wasn’t.”

Sighing, I stand and stretch. I move over to my desk, opening a drawer and taking out my bottle of sleeping pills. The orange plastic glints in the lamplight. “The last time I forgot to take these before that night with you after the party was the night the Ellingtons kicked me out.”

I hear the creak of my mattress along with his soft footfalls as Dylan rises and approaches. I don’t turn, staring at the pill bottle as if transfixed. I flinch slightly when Dylan’s hands settle on my sides. Closing my eyes, I lean back into his comforting touch.

“What happened?” he asks softly.

An image of Harvey’s traumatized face flickers past my mind’s eye. Briefly, I consider begging off. So far, Dylan’s honored every boundary I’ve set. If I tell him to leave it alone, he will.

Then, I consider Dylan’s own reaction to my dreamwalking. Instead of fleeing as far away from me as he could, he’d compiled a goddamn research paper on the subject. He’s proven time and again that I can trust him.

So, in a halting voice, I tell him all about Harvey and that last awful night we’d spent trapped in a nightmare of my own making. “I never saw him after that,” I whisper. A faint shudder races through me. “I…I just hope he’s okay after what I put him through.”

I fall silent, waiting anxiously for Dylan’s reaction. Would this be the last straw that finally makes him realize how dangerous it is to be around me? I don’t dare turn around for fear of seeing the same empty look on his face I’d seen on Harvey’s.

Dylan’s hands fall away from my sides, and my stomach sinks, resignation weighing down my limbs. This is it—the moment he pulls away for good like he should’ve done from the start.