Page 69 of The Sun King's Noon

Richard closed the book. “In that case, you should be preparing.”

“My pack is already saddled.” Kaelen stepped into the children’s section and sank onto the cushion opposite Richard, their boots almost touching. For a moment, Kaelen was quiet, then?—

“We all have our secrets.”

Richard rolled his eyes. “I doubt your secrets were as large as mine.”

“You do not know that.” Kaelen scratched his nape. “When I was seven, after you rescued Corwin and me from the Velari, I dreamed, for a long while after, of rescuing you in return.”

Richard raised a brow. “Rescuing me?”

“Yes.” Kaelen snorted. “And so, for the next six years, Corwin and I played a game about it. We would find a stablehand, someone our age, and recruit them to play you. And Corwin, most often, would play the dastardly fiend who had kidnapped you and dragged you off to some wicked lair—usually the hayloft, or behind the orchard wall, and I would be the knight coming to your rescue?—”

He broke off, laughing at himself, and sprang suddenly to his feet. Drawing an invisible sword from his belt, he planted his feet wide and brandished the blade.

“I shall vanquish you, foul creature!” he declared in a grandiose voice. “Release my prince at once, you wretch, or taste the fury of the Magnificent Sir Kaelen!”

He lunged forward, parried some counter-stroke, spun on his heel, and drove his sword through the foe with a victorious roar.

Richard’s brows rose higher.

Kaelen turned to the imaginary third figure, sheathed his invisible sword, and went down on one knee, bowing his head. “I have you, my prince. You are safe now—no, I beg, I seek no gold nor glory. To return you home is all I ask.”

He blushed. “And then, um, the stablehand—well, whoever we had roped in—would lean over and—um—would give me a peck on the cheek as a reward. Or—” Kaelen chuckled. “Or sometimes Corwin would win, and I’d collapse into the boy or girl’s lap, bleeding out from my wounds and croak out my final words?—”

He slumped back onto the cushions, an arm flung outwards. With a shaky gasp, he choked out, “My prince, I have failed you. And yet I am not afraid. For though the dark nears, I am embraced by your light. Before I go, would that you grant me the sweetness of a kiss—” He cleared his throat and sat back up so quickly that his head slammed into the bookshelf. “I mean, it was, well, you understand—um—just childhood reveries.”

Richard closed his slack jaw. Truly, this was a ridiculous man. “An awful lot of kisses in your childhood reveries.”

Kaelen flushed. “Well, exactly. So, you see, my king. How much more terrible my secret is.”

Richard looked down at the book. “But I never did get kidnapped.”

“No,” Kaelen agreed. “I was slightly disappointed, in truth. All those hours of preparation gone to waste.”

Richard tried to return his easy smile, but his lip twinged. “I never got kidnapped because I always listened. I stayed close to Father. I never wandered for I did not want anyone to worry. One of us had to be good, after all. One of us had to be right, be the example, be the rock Mother and Father could rely on, for the gods know their own burdens weighed heavily enough.”

His eyes were burning again. He fixed his gaze on an illustration of Senga and Thrond hugging in the Cavern of Lost Souls.

“There was much expected of me, especially when it came to the little ones, and sometimes I would wish—” Richard paused, his throat too tight to continue speaking. He waited for the lumpto ease before whispering, “Sometimes, I would wish to be free of them entirely.”

The words hung in the air. Richard’s breath caught, the horror of what he had admitted rising like bile. “That is a terrible thing to say. I would have you forget my words.”

Kaelen’s smile was sad. “Yes. It is a terrible thing to say.” Slowly, he reached for Richard’s hand. His palm was warm, and the callus on his thumb grazed over Richard’s knuckles. “But it is also human.” He ducked his head to meet Richard’s eyes. “And you are allowed to be human, my king.”

Richard stared at their joined hands. “I hate them.”

“No,” Kaelen said calmly. “You do not.”

“They hate me.”

“They love you.” Kaelen squeezed his hand. “They love you enough to wound, and you them. In time—with some apologies all round, I wager—it will mend.”

Richard’s shoulders sagged, and he breathed out slowly. “I…” He winced. “I am sorry. I have been unfair towards you.”

Kaelen rubbed his thumb against the inside of Richard’s wrist. “And I towards you. More than once, I spoke to you in ways a knight ought not to speak to his king.” He shrugged. “I think, maybe, that’s what people do when they have come to be closer to one another. They step out of bounds, because the bounds no longer quite fit.”

Alarm jolted through Richard. Was Kaelen hinting at his closer relationship with Ravi? Had Kaelen promised to visit Naradesh in the future? Did they perhaps have a pact for marriage after Rot and Galdran were dealt with?