Page 101 of The Sun King's Noon

“No.” Kaelen kneaded the pillow with his fist. “I do not take squires.”

“Come now, Kaelen. Is it not in the knights’ rulebook to train a squire? After all, what use is a man who does not teach the future?”

Kaelen dropped the pillow and straightened to his full height. The tendons in his neck were corded tight.

“Then, pray tell me. What use is a knight who cannot protect?”

Richard frowned. “Do not be silly?—”

“From the very start,” Kaelen continued, voice rising, fists clenching by his sides. “From Caerwyn, then the Nightbourne Realm, then the witches, and Galdran—that damned monster! Not once have I been able to keep you safe! And today—today, I stood with a sword in my hand and a cottage bearing down on me, and I could do nothing but pray my death might buy you a small reprieve to escape.” His throat bobbed. “And you wish to give me a squire? To ask a one-armed girl already beaten down by this world to look up at me as her exemplar? Why?” He sneered. “I have nothing to teach her that is worth learning.”

Something about the defeated way Kaelen’s arms hung wrenched at Richard’s heart. He stepped closer and gentled his voice.

“You are being much too hard on yourself.” Richard raised his hand towards Kaelen’s shoulder. “What happened today was not your fault?—”

“No.”

Richard blinked at the sudden glare that greeted him. His hand froze in the air between them.

“No,” Kaelen repeated. “The fault was yours.”

Richard let his hand drop. “I only released the children to play at the spring because?—”

“I do not mean the spring,” Kaelen snapped. “I talk about you running off after the crone alone! I talk about you not waiting even a single moment for me to follow! I talk about you ignoring the fact that I was thirty paces away, near enough for you to shout my name, but you decided that you’d rather charge unaided to face a creature whose powers you knew nothing of!”

Richard gaped, then spluttered. “The trail was warm?—”

“Donotmake petty excuses!” Kaelen advanced a step, eyes flinty. “Can you even imagine—justtryto imagine—what would have happened if you had been killed? If you had been killed onmywatch? Have you any idea what I would have had to carry back home?”

“I had it handled?—”

“You were tied to a chair, Richard!” Kaelen’s bellow resounded through the wagon, no doubt loud enough for the whole camp to hear. “You were reckless! You were a fool! You dove headlong into danger instead of waiting for me!” His fist thudded against his heart.

Richard bit his tongue to stop his retort, having shrunk back at each yell. He felt sick, though whether it was from the broth or from the furious twist to Kaelen’s mouth, he did not know.

“I understand.” Richard held out his palms. “I am sorry. I should have waited.” He was relieved to see Kaelen’s shoulders sag, fury ebbing from his eyes. “At least Flint was there.”

“Flint.” Kaelen raked a hand through his hair. The motion cast a shadow over his face. “Oh, Flint. Of course. Your new fascination.”

Richard squinted. What was that supposed to mean? “Flint is a friend?—”

“A friend?” Kaelen’s laugh was bitter. “Like Druid Orric was a friend?”

Richard stared. “What?”

Kaelen rubbed a hand across his mouth, looking much like a man trying to suppress his words. But on meeting Richard’s frown, his glower intensified, and the words came tumbling out regardless.

“You do this with people you find interesting.” Kaelen’s lower lip trembled. “You circle them and ask your questions, and you stand too close, and you listen as though they are the only voice in the room. Until I overheard your goodbye with Druid Orric in the courtyard, I’d been convinced you intended to marry him even.”

“Kaelen, that is ridiculous,” Richard scoffed. How in all the gods had the conversation steered into this strangeness? What was Kaelen saying? Why the note of accusation? “Orric was a friend. I had much to consult him on, and in any case, he has a mate—a bear-shifter by the name of Dareth.”

He expected Kaelen to look surprised—perhaps even apologise—but Kaelen just folded his arms and snorted.

“That was not how you were behaving around him.”

The surliness in his tone shredded the last remnants of Richard’s patience. He stalked up to Kaelen and shoved the man’s shoulder.

“Have you taken leave of your senses?” Richard hissed. “I have told you this before. I do not feel desire. I haveneverfelt desire. For any person?—”