Page 50 of Hellhound AU

Ethel gasped. “Why would you blame your aunt? She didn’t encourage you to do this with your life.”

I smiled, squeezing her hand. “Only she did. I killed my first person by accident, and it was Aunt Anabelle who made me see how my actions weren’t bad. He deserved to die. I was already solving problems, along with working a million different jobs, when Aunt Anabelle died. Her leaving me all that money let me become a professional problem solver. So, without her, I wouldn’t be here. And I don’t regret a single moment of it.”

Ethel laughed wetly. “You really did work a million different jobs. Just long enough to set things straight before you quit and moved onto the next one.”

I shrugged. “I guess even then I was problem solving.”

“I love you, too, you know. In every way that counts, you’re mine, Milo. I don’t think I’ve ever really said that, but I want you to know.”

I smiled and hugged her. “You and Aunt Anabelle were the most important people in my life. You guys raised me and gave me a home, and I love you both.” I paused, leaning back to sniff and wipe my eyes a bit. “Now, no more of these heart-to-heart moments. No one is going to die.”

“Well…” Ethel said, wiping her own eyes and smiling.

“Okay, neither ofusis going to die,” I amended. Because more than likely, there would be some bloodshed before we were through here.

Being kidnapped was boring. They don’t ever tell you that in the movies or the books. It’s really a lot of sitting around, and it sucks. Our captors didn’t even give us a television, for fuck’s sake. I’d examined the dresser and the bed frame, but we could hear noise from around us, so I didn’t want to be too loud in taking apart the bed. I did take out one of the dresser drawers and set it on top of the dresser. I figured I could grab it and hit someone if I really needed to.

Otherwise… it was just waiting. We had played a dozen rounds of twenty questions, we’d gossipped about everyone we knew, and we’d even tried playing “I spy,” only it was hard when there was barely anything in the room.

When the door creaked open, I was ready to start singing praises, just because it wasn’t so damnboringanymore.

Two big, muscled, tattooed, bald guys walked into the room carrying a chair, and someone outside the room shut the door behind them. The one guy sat in the chair backwards, leaning onto the back of it. The other guy stood behind him and looked menacing, his hand loosely holding a gun. They apparently watched too many movies, because it was typical villain behavior.

“Does your mother know you kidnap old ladies?” Ethel asked.

I thought about face-palming myself, but Ethel was gonna be Ethel.

“Excuse me?” the one sitting in the chair asked.

“Well, at least someone taught you good manners. Now, I’m very thankful that you pulled us from our burning vehicle, but we really need to get home to our family before they start worrying. Keeping us here would be kidnapping, and I’m sure a nice young man like you wouldn’t do that.”

I looked at Ethel in disbelief. The two big guys were also staring at her, completely at a loss for words. I totally understood what she was going for, but I didn’t think it would work. You didn’t walk into a room with a gun unless you were planning on threatening someone.

The guy stared at Ethel for another moment, and then he looked at me. “Who hired you?”

I placed my hand on my chest and looked innocently at him, raising my eyebrows in a “Who, me?” face. I actually kind of was surprised. “No one hired me. I don’t know what you mean.”

The guy with the gun grunted and mumbled, “Fed,” under his breath.

Ohhhh—they thought I was with some federal agency. Shit. Should I go along with it, or would that make it worse?

“We are not federal agents. How absurd,” Ethel answered.

Well, I guess we weren’t gonna pretend to be feds. Thanks, Ethel.

The guy directed his attention to Ethel. “Where did you get the information to send us those… packages,” he said, his lip curling on the last word.

“You didn’t like the dildos?” Ethel asked innocently. I closed my eyes. We were totally going to die.

The guy with the gun growled, and as I looked at him, I thought I saw some glitter sparkling on the left side of his neck, right above the swastika tattoo.

Yup, definitely going to die.

“We can do this—” the seated man started, but Ethel cut him off.

“—the easy way or the hard way. Really, is there a guidebook for villains that you’re following, because that line issotrite.”

At this point, I did put my head in my hands, because I was totally going to have to take both these guys out, avoid getting shot, and avoid Ethel getting hurt in the process as well. Shit.