Page 41 of Unknowingly Being his Brat

Loren and Loretta had made a massive change in their diner this last week, changing the tables and benches for a dark wooden look. Their walls were now a light blue shade, but in a dusky sort of grey. I found that I liked this new look. They thankfully still had booths, making a more secluded place to sit. I enjoyed the privacy it offered, especially for this conversation we were about to have.

Loren left our table with a wink as he made his way back to the kitchen. It wasn’t only Loretta and Loren who worked here, but I much preferred eating here when Loretta was the one cooking. Something about the way she prepared the meals just made a difference. Maybe it was love for her customers, or maybe it was because she loved doing it. Whatever the reason, I looked forward to trying something new of hers today.

“So,” Cass said, gaining our attention now that we were alone again. “Now that our food is ordered, maybe we should get into it?”

“Damn, Cass,” Darius laughed, a sound I truly couldn’t wait to hear every single day of my life. “You really just get right into it, huh?”

Cass blushed, but one reassuring smile from Jeremy was enough for him to relax.

“I just know how much Jeremy needs this conversation,” Cass admitted, giving Jeremy a tense smile while telling us about it.

“I need it, too,” I hurried to say, not wanting Cass to fear he’d put Jeremy in a bad situation when he told us the truth.

Jeremy’s eyes found mine and it was as if it was just the two of us sitting there. Several years of pain and confusion between us.

“I’ve always been jealous of you,” I began, averting my gaze to the table, no longer able to face him as I finally told him about my flaws. “I was never good enough. Never got any praise from Dad. Even my friends abandoned me for your company.”

Jeremy scoffed at that. “You’ve always been good enough, Milo. And those friends of yours were just looking to spend time with someone older than them, not because it was me.”

I started to protest, but he kept going. “I’m not downplaying your feelings, because you’re allowed to feel however you felt in those moments, but please know that I saw something completely different.”

I could only nod, feeling stupid for even trying to tell him about my feelings.

“That’s not all,” Darius interjected. “Your dad is the main reason for Milo’s behavior as of late. Not that I’m saying what he did was okay, but Paul truly isn’t as supportive of Milo as he is of you, Jer.”

“Is that true?” Jeremy asked, his eyes searching mine.

Nodding, I finally told Jeremy the one thing I swore I would never ever tell him. “He doesn’t love me, Jer.”

It looked as though I’d slapped Jeremy as he flew back in the booth, his eyes wide with shock, then came the look of disbelief, so I hurried to add. “He wishes I was more like you. A thing he’s told me. To my face.”

A growl escaped Darius. “He did what?”

“His exact words were ‘Why can’t you be more like your brother’.”

I let those words hang in the air between us, Jeremy, Darius, and Cass feeling the weight of what those words did to me.

“I still don’t know what I did wrong,” I admitted in a whisper. “But it still doesn’t excuse why I took my anger out on you. I should just have left the pack when I turned eighteen. Not that I wished for that now, but if Darius hadn’t been mine, it would’ve fixed many things if I’d just left.”

It seemed Darius couldn’t stop his disapproving growls, but my hand on his thigh seemed to quiet them down a little. “I’m not leaving,” I assured him and his wolf. “I’ll never leave your side.”

Darius nodded, his nose finding mine in a gentle nuzzle. “But it still hurts to hear how alone you felt. How much you wanted to leave.”

“Yeah,” Jeremy said, clearing his throat. “I wished you’d told me sooner.”

“It wasn’t as if we normally talked, Jer,” I reminded him. “I saw you as my competition for as long as I can remember. I don’t even remember a time I thought of you as anything but. Dad’s only priority when we grew up was for us to be ready for the alpha title and everything that entailed. He didn’t care about bonding or us simply spending time together as a family. Did you truly never think about how odd that was?”

Jeremy blinked, his eyes unfocused as he just stared straight ahead. “I never really thought about it, no. But you’re right.”

Nodding, I continued. “When he wanted us to spend time together as a family it was either to help clean out the packhouse or for you and me to compete in some made up competition. He blames me for not being a brother to you, but he’s the reason I never saw you as that.”

A lone tear escaped his left eye, and I felt guilty for having caused that. I knew he wasn’t a bad person, but that annoyance of him being so perfect was still there, reminding me of how I usually saw him. He reminded me of how much I lacked in comparison. That thought was like a lightbulb moment for me. The reason I held so much anger towards him was simplybecause of that. I didn’t like being reminded that I wasn’t him. It was never about Jeremy, but what he represented.

“I’m so sorry, Milo,” Jeremy finally said, his voice a tad hoarse. “I should’ve noticed you more, been a brother to you and not your competition.”

“Dad should’ve made sure we were a family,” I stated, ignoring his apology. He didn’t have to apologize for being who he was, like I shouldn’t apologize for being me. “He should apologize to us, but I still owe you an apology for messing with you and Cass. That was petty and uncalled for.”

“I don’t care about that, Milo,” Jeremy shook his head as his eyes locked onto mine. “I care about what we do from this day forward. I don’t want to feel like we aren’t brothers. I want to have a relationship with you, regardless of what happens with Dad.”