Page 87 of Silver Sweet

“Okay,” I relent, but I don’t want to leave him alone. “Hey, I bet Charlie’s around?—”

“There is absolutely no way Charlie would watchDante’s Peakwith me,” Ben cuts in.

“What if you let him pick the movie?”

“It’s not the movie that’s the issue,” Ben says. “It’sme. I think he would rather break his other leg than be alone with me for two hours.” He blinks, then covers his face. “Fuck, I didn’t mean—I don’t want him to break his leg. He already broke the first one because of me.”

“Because of acar crash,” I emphasize. “You make it seem like you stepped on his tibia and weren’t just behind the wheel.”

Hands on his waist, he takes a constricted breath. “It feels like I did do that.” He stares hauntedly at a spot in the floorboards. “I know it’s dumb, but now I feel like I spoke another injury into existence and it might happen. You know?”

I’m trying to understand. “Let that shit go, dude. Breathe.”

“I’m trying.” He exhales a deep, steady breath.Is he okay?

I honestly think…no, he’s not. “You should call Beckett.” He can relate to Ben in the way only someone with OCD can.

“He’s at ballet.”

“Then Mom.”

“I’m not worrying Mom or Dad.”

“Your therapist.”

“Yeah, maybe.” He tries to focus on Mister Feathers. “I’ll be okay. I’ll be okay.” His chest is taut. “Just go, Tom.” The unsaid thing hangs in the air:I don’t want you to be late because of me.

My feet feel like cement blocks as I move into the living room. I end up texting Harriet, asking if she can come spend the night.

I can’t tell if it’s more for my peace of mind, so I don’t worry about Ben, or if I’m doing something that will truly benefit him. Whatever the case, selfish or not, I wait for her to arrive.

Turns out, Charlie is in Central Park with Beckett, who’s on a break. I urge him to call Ben while he’s not dancing, so hopefully they’re on the phone now. But I’m not leaving Ben home alone, so I loiter in the kitchen.

Running behind.

I’m trying to reassure Phoenix over voice memo that I’ll make it. Without lying. I don’t want to lie to him, even a lie as simple as I got stuck in traffic.

Fifteen minutes pass and Harriet unlocks the door with her key, her backpack slipping off her thin shoulder. Her low-rise plaid pants hug her hipbones, and her belly button piercing is visible while she’s wearing a white crop top.

Her round face shows more concern than scowl.

I make prayer hands at her. “My angel.”

“Ew.” Her nose scrunches. “Never say that to me again.”

“Agreed, it felt gross and inaccurate.”

She gives me a weak middle finger. Her blue eyes dart over to Ben as he emerges in the living room. He rocks to a stop seeing her, then he shoots me a deadpanned expression. “Tom.”

“Look who’s here!” I point at the short blonde and consider picking her up, but I recoil as her murderous eyes hiss at me. I glare back. “Like I would touch my haunting nightmare.”

Harriet explains to Ben, “Your brother said he’s ditching your movie night and you needed better company.”

“Did he?” Ben starts to smile at her. Then his smile veers to me in appreciation. I do know what my brother loves. He scoops her up against his chest so he can kiss her at his height.

I don’t pay attention. I gather my shit around the kitchen. Charger, phone. Where’d I put my wallet?

“You’re going to be late if you don’t go, Tom,” Ben calls out, his arm around Harriet while they’re on the couch together.