Page 217 of Silver Sweet
Her lips smooth together, and she gives me a subtle nod. I point to Audrey. “Did you see that? Mom nodded. Mom wants you here.”
“I know she does,” Audrey says. “We’ve spoken at great length, but I am ready to leave. It’s time for me to be in New York, and even though…I-I might not be wanted?—”
“You are wanted,” Eliot interjects deeply. “I want you there. Tom wants you there.” He stares into me like,Do not crush our sister.
“Of course I want you there,” I tell Audrey, immediately hurting for Ben with each word. “But not right now.”
“Tom,” Eliot sighs hard.
Mom abruptly leaves the table, her phone in hand. “No bloodshed,” she warns us, quickly exiting with the clip-clap of her high heels.
“Tom.” Eliot tries to capture my gaze, but it’s becoming harder and harder staring him in the eye. I feel like a cowardly lion, but I love him. I love Eliot with my entire soul. As memories fade with age, loving him is the last thing I’ll remember from my childhood. We’ve never disagreed about anything this serious.
Never.
Not once in our lives.
“I’m just trying to protect Ben, dude. He’s not ready for her to live with us.”
Audrey pipes in, “He’s stronger than we all give him credit for, don’t you think?”
“I think we want him to be,” I say softly. “I’m terrified that we’ll push him too hard, too far, too fast.”
“So then I don’t live with you all in New York,” Audrey reasons. “I don’t want to hurt Ben. But I can’t put my life on pause out of fear that I might.”
I have no good rebuttal to this. None at all.
Charlie—the only one still seated—has an unlit cigarette between his lips. He leans toward a brass candelabra, letting the flame burn the tip. I expect him to enter the conversation, but he says nothing, drawing in a long drag.
“You realize that’s what’s happening here?” Audrey speaks passionately to me, Eliot, and Charlie. “I’m to be trapped in a castle because Ben is afraid I’ll be harmed if I go out into the world. You mean to trap me here. Forever.”
“I won’t leave you here,” Eliot promises.
I’m being ripped in half. “Not forever,” I mumble.
“Set her free,” Jane says with a knife tap to the goblet.
“Delusion,” Charlie tells our older sister, blowing smoke up at the chandelier. “You’re encouraging utter fucking delusion, Jane.”
“I am encouraging our sister’s independence,” Jane rebuts. “You and Beckett had yours atsixteenwhen you moved to New York. She turns eighteen in January. It’s hardly a giant leap.”
“You think I care how old she is?” Charlie’s voice is corrosive, meant to hurt. He fixes a harsh glare at Audrey. “You know why Ben is so upset? You know why he fears for you? He knows what you are.”
Oh fuck.
“Charlie,” Jane warns.
“No, it’s quite all right, Jane,” Audrey raises her carriage, as though understanding Jane won’t be there in New York. If she’s to gain any favor with Charlie, she can’t have our oldest sister fighting her battles for her. “Speak what you must, Charlie. But I’ve heard it all before. You think I’m naïve, foolish, reckless, and irresponsible, but I know I’m far more mature than you believe me to be.”
“So mature,” Charlie says coldly, flicking ash on his dinnerplate. “You took a pill out of a baggie ofmixedpills and believed it was Tylenol just because someone told you it was.”
“A lesson learned,” she nods. “Do not trust frat boys.”
Eliot gestures a hand toward her. “She’s maturing right before our eyes.”
“Is that the lesson?” I feign confusion and just end up wincing. This is not good. This is actually awful. Eliot knows she’s young and impressionable, but he will never erode her confidence. I haven’t wanted to either. I like Audrey thinking she’s indestructible because I like believing she is too.
Cries echo through the baby monitor, and Audrey gives Jane an assured nod to go check on Maeve. “Je peux voler de mes propres ailes,” she says.I can fly on my own.
