Page 156 of Find My Way Down to You

His fingers stop. “Cary.”

“Like Grant? Or that one guy fromThe Princess Bridemovie?”

“I’ve never seen it.”

The music transitions to something pop-like, heavy guitars and piano. My hands stir at my sides, itching to write. Maybe something about how pillowy this boy’s lips look. Or the smooth hills of his biceps as he rests his elbows on the table. The sun as it dances across his dark eyes.

Cary’s attention is focused on my hands, intrigued. I tuck away my usual embarrassment as his gaze lifts.

I should go, I think.

Instead, I say, “I’ve never seen you before,” even though State Street is constantly crawling with tourists. People I will never remember.

For some reason, I know I won’t forget him.

“I’m new to the city,” he says.

It’s my turn to cock an eyebrow. “Where are you from?”

Cary grins. It’s like light cutting across a field of fog. “You ask a lot of questions, Auggie. I like that.”

Epilogue

After the After

I shouldn’t behere. It’s not his time.

But I can’t help myself.

The last time I was in this hospital, I was dead. An untethered soul. Now I’m something more. That doesn’t quiet the chill that vibrates through me. The reminder that, even with its glowing white lights and cream walls, not everyone leaves this place alive.

I follow the halls to the pediatric center. A small room is gradually filling up. Doctors escort kids inside. Some are wheeled in by nurses. Their faces are bright as sunlight on the ocean despite the tubes or machines or caps hiding bald heads.

They’re eager for what’s next. I am too. And our wait isn’t very long.

An older girl whoops when, from the other side of theroom,hewalks in. A smile flows like a wave over my lips. My pulse leaps.

He’s older now. Twenty. He still has the same crown of tight bronze curls. Warm brown skin and vibrant eyes. A faint shadow around his round jaw from facial hair he can’t quite grow right, just like his dad.

“August,” I whisper, though no one can hear me. Or see me.

Still, his head turns for the briefest second before he refocuses on the cheering kids.

He goes around the room giving hugs. High fives. It’s cool in the hospital, and he wears a navy hoodie.

My grin arcs higher. It was once mine. He hasn’t forgotten me. Our dreams. But he’s also made space in his life, in his world, for new things.

Soon, another boy joins him. He’s just as tall, with pale gold skin. Loose curls fall around fine bone structure. His hugs last longer. His attention lingers on anyone who calls him.

“Cary! Cary!”

He’s careful with each of them. Cracks terrible jokes to make them laugh. Kind with his almost-black eyes. He holds their hands. Just as he held mine.

A memory wisps like smoke in my head:

We stood in Aides’s great hall. Cary and me. Surrounded by flowers and statues and power I couldn’t wrap my brain around.

“Wh-what do you mean youchooseme?” I stammered.